#honestly if we treated him like how he would treat others he would be doomed

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

If you're writing for doom now could we get doom slayer's first time with a gender neutral s/o please? Thank you 🙏

I literally did the classic doom guy grin upon opening this ask I was ready and waiting for it and hope this doesn't disappoint!

Disclaimer: Trans masc doom slayer, he's one of those characters I literally don't see as cis so that's my default for him going forward I hope that's alright. Switch Doom Slayer, slight AFAB genitalia terms used for him, and btw also SELF INDULGANT PLOT 🗣

(Gender neutral reader)

Sex is kind of a... touchy subject for him. Just something he never really had much interest in, growing up he always wanted to be military and over his teenage years and into adulthood that was his main focus, his main priority, get good grades and be fit to serve. So he never really did have the time for - that - hell even if he wanted to its not like he really had the skill to so casually talk to people not even fathom getting to know somebody to get into that position in the first place. Not to mention the other factors... with himself, his body, so more ways than one he wasn't at all interested what it had to offer. After all he wanted to be a marine, saving people's lives, that was obviously more important than self pleasure.

But that was... thousands of years ago. And here he was now, the Apex Predator of Hell, the Hellwalker, the Doom Slayer. Still a virgin.

He honestly could give less of a shit, it was a complete understatement of how much of a low list 'priority' (if you could even fucking consider it that) of his considering the unfathomable amount of bullshit he has had to put up through since the Phobos Incident in his original universe.

He's had propositions, all by very ballsy Night Sentinels that actually had the courage to actually come up and talk to him during the rare instances of the Maykrs having him out during non combative down time, still on their leash however, akin to taking a dog on a walk or said dog would bark and growl and snap at the confines of his enclosure dispite the shock collar - and they found that annoying. And a risk.

All propositions he said no to, which he didn't even need Maykr control to decline for, he was much more interested in trying out new weapons the Sentinel barracks provided for him in their training grounds and they were interrupting him getting to play with his new toys. Honestly? It was just rude of them.

And still, after the Ahzrak's crushed head, the Maykrs betrayal, the Sentinel civil war, Valen's betrayal, spending all that unfathomable time with him in that cave, getting shoved in and gasping out of that sarcophagus and continuing his bloody war path it was still the farthest thing from his mind.

Then he met you.

You were... different than people he's met. With how long either people having either fear him, hate him, or respect him but not really as a person but for his strength and conviction instead - you actually took the time to understand him, you actually... treated him like a person. He can't even remember the last time someone did that, probably somewhere in his old ancient life but even still.

He thought at first it was only because he saved your life and gave you a place to stay at the Fortress since you had no where else to since the demons laid your home in ruins, everyone you knew dead - he knows that feeling all too well as well after all. But no, seeing how you carry yourself spoke loud and clear that it wasn't just for base gratitude or some debt, you were kind - genuinely thankful but very kind. With how polite you were to VEGA and how you actually made effort to talk to the Slayer himself, even when he isn't the most social in the world and sometimes his actions could be interpreted as rude: like you speaking to him in one sided conversation as he walks over to his workbench to work on his guns, but he's still listening, hanging on every word you say even if on the outside it's hard to show that. But you keep doing it because you understand that he's listening, never pressuring him to comment on anything until one day he surprises you and does.

Looking back on it he thinks it the first ever thing he's verbally ever said to you, up to this point he's been communicating through slow nods and slight hand gestures. It obviously takes you by surprise as you fall silent in the doorway. He doesn't look all the way back but he glances from the corner of his eye to see the cute flustered look on your face.

Oh you were something truly special.

After everything he's been through it's hard to genuinely scare him anymore, however, coming to terms on his own feelings towards you? Terrified him to death. He recognizes it the mere instant it sets in and it causes a whole body panic within him that his entire being has to stiffen up to contain if not he would completely loose himself.

Scenarios, bloody ones, run through his mind at night for weeks on end. He can't control them, invasive fears that drag him along every time he even thinks of closing his eyes. He's seen so much violence, so much cruelty, so much death. He couldn't imagine what he'd even do with himself if he lost you. But he takes all of it in silent stride, self contained, heavy on his shoulders. Like he always has.

He should've known better you would be quick to catch on. Quick to confront him.

He can't look you in the eye as you address him, asking what's wrong, he's about to set out on a mission with his weapons laid out before him for final assessments to be fully equipped when you've stopped him. There's a knot in his throat as he turns away and is about to pull over the helmet onto his head before you stop him by placing your hands on his arms and tugging them down so you can properly see his face - which only makes the knot swell as he sees you from the corner of his eyes still verting away from you.

You're so... gentle with him he's not exactly sure what to do, his body briefly stiffens all over but his bones simply melt with your warm touch he can't help but slowly relax as you just gently hold him. Your palms are so soft as they come up to greet the roughness of his face, his brows narrow together for a bit before he finds your not directly looking at him either - until you notice he's looking at you and you stare at one another. Your eyes are really pretty.

In a snap the moment ends end you let go of his face and clear your throat, cheeks tinted.

"I know fighting helps you clear your head so I'm sorry for keeping you... just promise you'll come back safe, alright?" You ask him to promise, uneasy he swallows and nods, about to grab his shotgun from off the table next to him before suddenly your hand is back cupping his cheek and pepping a quick kiss on the partnering one by standing on your tiptoes. Before his brain even process it your scurried off to the other room, leaving him standing there.

His hand that was on the shotgun unclasps it and slowly, clumsily, finds it's way onto your kiss.

Oh.

Things are... a little bit different afterwards. Neither of you have really said anything about feelings necessarily out loud but there's more physical affection than before. It scared him, honestly, but if there's one thing about you he's come to really love and appreciate it's exactly how patient and slow you were willing to take things - even if it meant just learning how to hold hands for awhile. His hands are so much bigger than yours, they swamp them when gently he entangles them. He felt like just with your hand alone as if he was holding the entire world.

Kissing was another thing, anxiety sweltering in him the first couple times, but again, thanks to your help it was something else to mentally conquer. He loves kissing you, how soft your lips are, how they taste so nice, it nearly makes him dizzy - makes you dizzy too, hell, smugass in him thinks he just might have a talent for it (he teases, he teases)

Then there was the elephant in the room, the topic he wasn't sure if ever he could come out and say but you had to figure it out on your own one night.

You've helped him treat injuries before, nothing too severe as his body with all thousands of years of Hellic bullshit has adjusted to quite a lot to inhuman degrees, but he was still human at the end of the day. One mission he'd been to careless and too lost in the rage and blood-lust that he had came out with a large gash on his size that would be impossible to treat on the field, the Slayer Suit can only fix so much, so he comes back through the portal pooling with blood that pours out of the wound from his exposed breech in his suit and he can barely only hold on to consciousness to hear your panicked plea out from him before he collapses on the floor.

He wakes up staring at the ceiling of his room, VEGA's voice loud in his ear over the entercom yet muffled until sleep fades from his being bit by bit, last part he hears clearly is stern warnings that he should've listened to the retreat suggestions when the armor faulty was urgently reported - but the last hoard of demons were circling that village, he couldn't just abandon them.

"It appears you didn't hear my suggestion the five times I had sent it. In future reference, would six suffice?" He knows the AI means well but he can't help the cheeky middle finger.

He then looks down to get a proper look at the state of himself, he laid shirtless in bed with bandage wrap around his stomach. Your doing, too human of work to be one of the Fortress' drones. That being said he looks at the deep ugly scars underlining his chest with a deep sigh, his head falling back to the pillow propped under him.

Guess he couldn't make up a freaky cool war story about those, huh? Shit.

His hand itches around the old Tether implant in thought. He should be honest with you, he's always honest with you, he's just... never had to tell anyone, like this anyway, recruitment people for the Marines knew but never really gave a shit he thinks - he was really big and really good with a gun, perfect solider material. Why would they give a shit what's in or not in his pants? But with you it's obviously different.

Speaking of you, the door to his room clicks and slides open automatically as you come in with your arms completely full with the thick and deceptively heavy box of a medkit - on instinct his body moves to get up and go help you carry it only for the sharp stabbing in his side to remind himself of the shape he's in. You quickly set the box down to ease him back properly in bed, which he relents, letting his bones jelly out as he watches you huff through your nose before with an (admittedly cute) growl you lift the box over onto the edge of the bed before popping it open revealing the large packs of blue healing gel and rolls of bandages - treating him did take a lot of resources after all.

"How are you feeling?" You ask, not looking at him directly but he could make out you glancing over at him from the corner of your eye to receive his usual non verbal response; which this time he leaves as a light uneven nod - he wasn't dead. That should be good enough. With one pack of gel in hand you step over closer to his bedside.

"Is it alright if I change your bandages? They're stained now the gels worn off." He looks down at himself, he spots the red tinted spot on the cloth but he stares longer further upwards directly underneath his chest. He swallows then nods once more.

You already did them once why bother asking to do it again? Just do it. He would add if it weren't on the physical strain it takes to speak. But then he realizes how that'd sound and remembers the patience you have with him, this was clearly just a part of it. You undo the bandages off of him and set them off to the side somewhere, his wound still bled from the cracks of the dried blue healing layer that ate slowly to his recovery, normally with regular humans it wouldn't take a whole bunch but he's anything but ordinary so for wounds of this extent he couldn't just shake off it takes several to really do anything to him, or maybe it was because of how adjusted he was to Argent engery long to this point it had the same less effective functionality to him, like taking the same kind of medication every time your sick. But over thousands of years.

You open the pack and begin to lather his side with it, the gel drying and sealing icy cold with that prickling feeling he's use to. Then another pack, and another, and another and so until eventually the area grows numb with full effect. He eases back into the mattress without even realizing he'd tensed up, that being the sign for you to take that enough had been applied and you grab the bandage roll to begin wrapping around him, though making him sit up slightly to get it on more proper.

"Couple more hours it'll need to be reapplied again but it did look much better than it did." You tell him, beginning to put supplies away. It's quiet for a long moment.

"You had me scared, you know? Coming back like that - why didn't you retreat when VEGA told you to?" You don't sound angry at him, you're very calm all things considered, but it still doesn't deter the guilty feeling in his stomach.

"People."

You look at him. So soft and sad it hurts. You reach over and hold his hand.

"You can't help people when you're hurt." He knows. And he knows you know.

"I'm sorry. It was a stupid mistake - adrenaline - got to my head and... moved wrecklessly. It was stupid."

Especially so, he's been doing this for unconceivably long he should know better but he slipped, anger got the better of him and he took to long on an execution to react to a Marauder blade catching him like that, taking advantage of weak point he deliberately left open not wanting to abandon the village to repair his suit. Ignoring VEGA's several warnings. Though, on this level of a fuck up it did make him feel like a rookie Marine again - in a sick and twisted way.

You draw him out of his thoughts and slipping memories when you lean over to press a soft brief kiss to his lips, still holding a comforting squeeze on his hand. Before he can bring himself to respond you rest your head on his chest, still sitting on the edge of the bed beside him but now tucked into him and using him as a pillow. Whatever he was going to say didn't matter then. He looks down at you, how your eyes were lazily closed but still clearly awake, you looked so... delicate, small compared to him. It takes a lot of strength to gather the courage but gently, so he doesn't accidentally harm you, he pats your head.

A passing while it hits him, the dread and discomfort he was feeling about his scars and what they meant had completely faded away. Here you were laying on them, didn't address them once.

...but he had to. It would eat at him if he didn't.

You'd nearly fallen asleep until he gently shakes you awake, pushing you to sit up with serious intent to talk. He tries the best he could explaining, honestly he isn't sure how to explain the exact feeling he's always had since that day Grandma Taggart put him in that Easter dress and it felt horribly wrong and how on the other hand how rightfully good it felt dreaming of being a combat hero just like his great-great grandfather BJ Blazkowicz, the man who literally killed Hitler. Both at the age of nine. He wasn't sure if it made sense, it was how he explained to his parents and they were luckily very supportive, but they were also his parents... so to cut it short your potential reaction terrified him. But it shouldn't, he know it shouldn't, and with how you just look at him confirms that.

"You're still you. You who have all these admirable, brave, kind, heroic-if-not-self-sacrificing aspects. You made yourself. You're the man who saved me and showed me there is still justice in this cruel existence - the man I fell in love with."

He's so distracted of the dam of relief of your support breaking that he nearly doesn't catch the last part you said. Bronze eyes turn wide, lips parted, he looks at you as if he thought himself in a dream and looks to nearly start slapping himself awake until you press another kiss to his lips, this time he stiffs but ultimately melts into it. More relaxed by each second.

When you two pull away there's a haziness in the air, carefully, you move to properly lay at the Slayer's side being mindful of his still present injury only tucked away behind a good couple tight circuits of cloth and wrap your arms around him to take in his warmth, head buried in his neck. The haze grows tiring, sleep creeps heavy on his eyelids and you too seemingly are not that far behind as your yawn is warm on his skin. The lights in the room dim, embarrassing reminder of the AI omnipresent throughout the whole Fortress but particularly now in this room. But nevermind that, he looks down at you and your sleepy form with the desire to speak - however his throat seems to be against him as he strains to, seemingly reached his limit of words tonight. But maybe it was for the best as now he could be up your soft snoring.

He loved you too.

He loves you so much. So much it still terrifies him, however, like always you're there to quell his fears, his doubts, second thoughts, you comfort him in a way he has never been before. You were something so truly special to him. Before long... desires strike.

Very brief at first. Surges that come from sudden touches, grazes, glances. But he's able to quickly shake it off without really realizing it.

...until he does.

He realizes when his touch lingers for a couple moments too longer, his eyes start to wonder when you're not looking, you start visiting his dreams...

He's deeply ashamed of it, so embarrassed with his face a scolding red he doesn't think he's felt in anyway besides letting out extreme rage on the battlefield, speaking of, there's where he takes it out on - either waking up in the dead of night and immediately mad dashing to his training arena to let of steam or if really, really, really bad he'll set off on a quick mission to slaughter some demons in hope to settle himself out.

So, not healthy ways to take care of it. He's aware of that. Still feeling ashamed.

He should've expected you to figure it out at some point, after months of this he's grown unintentionally distant from you, and he should've also expected for you to address it in some way.

Half dressed in his bed wasn't how he would've expected it however.

There seems to be a delay in between his eyes and brain to process the shocking sight before him, you usually always come to greet him when he returns home from demon excursions and you not being there this time is what led him to search without properly stripping off his suit, his boots are practically cement in the ground as he stands in the doorway of what had become in the past year your shared bedroom. But maybe he should've assumed something was up, VEGA had seemed purposely aloof and dense on where you could've been located or what you had been doing when he asked, you two must've planned on this.

...but how could he be upset when you wore one of the baggiest shirts you owned that were pushed up to reveal his boxers underneath around your thighs? He wasn't a religious man but good God.

He doesn't need to be talked into, he wants and needs you, the fear and anxiety is still there and eats at him but he knows with you it's going to be okay - he couldn't do this with anybody else in every universe and realm imaginable but you.

First piece of the armor to come off is the helmet as he stands by the edge of the bed and you up on your knees practically rip it off and toss it across the room to meet him in a feverish kiss. One by one each piece is removed and fallen to the floor with a heavy clunk, leaving him in only the tight black bodysuit he wears underneath. Your lips never part, your fingers find them tight short cropped dark brown hair that your drag him down so you can fall on your back, parting the kiss in heavy breaths as you feel yourself up and let the shirt ride up your stomach to expose more skin, your spine then arches as you softly plea for him to touch you.

He treats you so gently as if one wrong move would break you, he's a big man after all - his hands have ripped and tore through hordes of legions of Hell alone in his self brought bloody crusade against demonkind, they've been twisted, crafted for violence for so long... deep down unknownst to himself he's been desperate for human touch but he's scared to death of not being capable of returning it, even more so of it decaying completely and his affection hurts you - or worse. He kills everything he touches.

That fear is always in the back of his mind even when he tries his damndest to pretend to you it isn't.

His large hands are warm on your skin, traveling and caressing everything he can but nothing too grounded. His face is buried in your neck peppering kisses along the base of your throat, taking in your soft hums and feels almost dizzy with your fingers in his hair encouraging his movements. Your thighs are wrapped tight around his waist as he sat stiff on his knees in between your legs and bent over top of you on the bed.

"Flynn, Flynn," You huff in pleasure, encouraging him to do more - but it hits him... he isn't exactly sure what 'more' is. Okay no, he knows what 'more' is but he doesn't... how does he...? What is he doing?

"Flynn?" As always it doesn't take you long to notice. He stares down at you honest, he tries speaking with no success.

You study his face, your eyes drifting downwards then noticed how his arms holding himself up above you slightly trembled - something he didn't even realize - it clicks for you.

"You haven't... oh." There's several emotions across your face, all in some kind of thought, before you lean up and guide him to reverse your positions: him on his back and you above him.

"I can take care of you if that's okay." He looks at you for a long moment, an inner fight within himself that he succumbs to one side completely, he needed you more than anything.

'Please.' He mouths.

You didn't expect him to be this loud, you know, given how he carries himself normally. And honestly? He didn't either. But he can't help all the noise that slips out, how his chest pants and rocks for breath, the mere instant you touch him - delicately if barely at all your fingers graze at his folds that got him shooting his head back further into the pillow at his head and his thick thighs, marred with centuries old battle scars, tremble upon themselves as he still manages to keep them bowed back for you.

Your touch lit his skin on fire that not even the deepest pits of Hell he's literally has crawled out of out could compare - and you basically hadn't done anything to him yet.

He doesn't falter, you have stopped but he grips on the mattress (mindful he doesn't tear it) underneath him and lightly raises his head up to look at you with large bronze colored eyes.

"..." His mouth hangs open, all of his might he tries to push words out but he physically can't, they knot and bunch up in his throat and stab at him if he further tries pushing it. But it's okay as your hands, so small and delicate compared to his mass, feather-light trace up the churning muscle of his stomach and up to his chest where you gently push him back down.

He looks at you then everything fades, fear, anxieties, everything melts away. Only replaced by calm. He peers down to see how the top of your hand is barely masked by the thick layer of chest hair and he slowly reaches up cup it, make you hold down on him in your palm tight. He was still with you through this... you now in between his legs.

He hums, he groans, whines, and curses through barred teeth as your fingers pump his hole - one or two or three fingers weren't nearly enough so you practically have your whole hand in there fucking him senseless. His body twitches, pulses, almost spasming with his how good he felt but he tries not to make too sudden or harsh of movements not to accidentally hurt you as he is still very much larger than the average human, but it's rather quite difficult when you're treating him this well.

But he needed more.

He wants to plea but physically can't form the words, only pathetic noises left in their wake as his hips bounce to meet your thrusting hand - it felt good, so good that tears blot in his eyes he fails to realize until you bend down to kiss them away. You actually keep kissing, your fingers still keeping quick pace at him, you kiss under his jaw to his neck to his chest to his stomach - lower and lower until your crouched down with your breath so electrifying on his sex as you hover before you completely engulf the fat numb of his clit in your mouth. All struggles of forming words together are completely shoved out.

"FUCk!" He shouts out, eyes wide, underneath him not just the sheets tear but as well as the mattress with claw marks left by his hands.

His chest heaves with every breath he takes, you suck and swirl your tongue around him at the same time still fucking his hole with nearly your entire fist it's easy to be over stimulated but he's hanging on every second in pure ecstasy.

"-more, more, more, more, more-" He huffs, hands clutch tighter onto the tore mattress even if he has the desire to grab ahold of your head to encourage an even faster pace but he's terrified of accidentally hurting you being not in control of his own strength to something so... intense like this. He'd rather you in control of the reigns.

He gasps as he suddenly feels dragged high without warning, the churning that's been building in his stomach snaps and his eyes roll to the back of his head as pleasure like he's never felt before washing over him. His body feels hot, his bones melt, and the only grounded feeling he has is the twitching he's aware of around your soaked hand.

He's wheezing, actually wheezing to catch his breath, feeling starts to return to his body just has you slip your hand out. He looks at you in what he'd probably guess if he were to look at himself as pathetic but you in return look at him soft; small smile on your lips as you meet to kiss him again - letting him have a taste of himself.

"How was that?" You ask.

'Good.' He mouths.

"You okay for more?" He still feels woozy but he nods, a wicked grin flashes across your face.

"Good."

Before he can question it or gather the strength to lift himself up to see what you were pulling from out under the bed he sees its a box. You hand it over to him, who sluggishly finally is able to sit up to open it and-

It was a strap-on.

Oh so you really planned this.

He couldn't help but to laugh at it at first, dumb looking green toy that was at a.... generous size - you called it fitting, he's a big man after all - but you know what? As stupid as it looked? It felt right, on him. Seeing a cock on him, even if it was green (you added green was also his color, so) and seeing your tiny hand stroking around such a big size REALLY starts doing something to him.

You put your mouth on it, even if it technically did nothing seeing your mouth stretch and gag around it really does more to him - even bucks his hips but he controls himself not to accidentally hurt your throat. His moans are low and huffy, completely contrast to the whining mess he was earlier, his eyes fall slacked and lazy as he watches you until you come up gasping for breath.

You've already been out of your shirt but putting his large hands on your hips do you make him take his boxers off you, grabbing and groping handfuls of ass as he goes and you wiggle free to be both completely naked together. The plastic of the strap is warm and wet from your previous activity but it brushes nicely against your thighs before you can't help yourself but rock into it.

"Flynn," You hum and you moan until you grab a hold of it and align it with yourself, hovering over it to look at your lover for one last confirmation. "-ready?"

"Please." He breathily pleads.

You sink yourself so full down onto it that your breath disapates from your body and you forget how to breathe for a second, his touch on you to keep you straddled riding on his waist being the only thing keeping you grounded.

"Are... you alright?" You flash him a dumb grin.

"Yeah. Your dicks huge, you know?"

He looks away from that, clearly flustered. His dick. Validating praises seemed to do something. You keep that in mind. Small movements at first you keep a steady rhythm. He goes along with it, encouraging your movements by his hands guiding your hips with each increasingly wet thrusts.

They grow faster and harder over time, you cooing out praises seem to increase them further until you are no longer in control of the rhythm as you are throughly fucked up and down until suddenly your pushed to your back where you loose control over your own voice. He leans over you, holding your legs up over his shoulders as he fucks you so deep - all previous fears and insecurities he's shown over the night gone, as he finally trusts himself with you, he won't hurt you.

"I love you," He says taking you by complete shock as he hasn't voiced the sentiment out loud before.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I-" Over and over he repeats raspy and strained as his voice tends to be but it means so much to you - you mean so much to him - he choices to fight through whatever pain to make sure it is said loud and clear and is known and you are loudly coming around his cock while he says it to absolutely cement it.

Sweaty and exhausted you two lay in each other's arms once it's all through. Somethings different, yet at the same time it isn't, your skin is so soft under his touch as he traces his fingertips down the width of your back as you're nearly dozed off. It's calm, he has a peace of mind he hasn't had in literally thousands of years - demons the furthest from his mind. It was nice. Really nice. He never wants it to end even though you both know it has to, Hell never quits nor runs dry with demons. But for now? This was more than fine.

Would really like and appreciate to know what you think about what you read in tags on reblogs I absolutely thrive off it, thank you for reading 🫶

[11queensupreme11]

How would Cu Chulainn feel about pjo demigods?

cú chulainn seeing how pjo demigods live: damn, your lives suck ASS 🤮

no seriously LMAO 😭😭😭😭😭😭

a lot of the greek demigods (the modern ones especially) either come from broken homes, poor single-parents, abusive parents, or just straight up HOMELESS and stay in camp year-round, etc.

some don't even KNOW that their kids are demigods so they're completely clueless about that part of their life; they might get frustrated by their kids adhd and dyslexia, the fact that they keep getting kicked out of school, getting into legal trouble (the mist made it look like they attacked someone when it was actually a monster trying to kill them, etc). it honestly just seems so frustrating for those poor demigods to deal with, especially during wartimes so imagine being depressed cuz you have half-siblings that defected or you're afraid that u and ur loved ones might die in the war, and you got a clueless parent being all "why are you moping all the time? 🤨 get ur ass back in school and get those grades up!" 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

i haven't found much yet about cú chulainn's childhood in the myths and how he was raised before he.... you know, started terrorizing ppl, but his mother, deichtine, was a princess. he's the nephew of conchobar mac nessa, king of ulster. so he was part of the ROYAL family. and that's just the mortal side. then he drank lugh's blood (again, my fic only) and became a demigod, and lugh is a supreme god of the celtic pantheon and the leader of the tuatha dé danann. when cú chulainn got adopted and blessed by him, he became part of that royal family too.

not only that, but back in ancient times people knew the gods were real so they absolutely knew that cú chulainn was a demigod and treated him as such (even though he was crazy and sucked ass 💀). and then there's the pjo demigods, constantly treated like shit, sometimes even by their own mortal families. they're seen as criminals, liars, troubled kids, stupid kids, kids beyond help, disappointments, mentally disturbed, weirdos who see things that don't exist, etc.

pjo demigods are treated like shit from both sides too, from the mortal side AND the godly side. though the latter may depend on who their godly parents are, but if PERCY JACKSON, poseidon's most favorite child ever, is still being treated like a toy soldier by the gods then what sort of hope do the other kids have? 💀 percy is literally the one kid that is so purely loved by her godly parent and yet her life still sucks. poseidon's love isn't enough to protect her from a hero's fate; in fact, it's what DOOMED her 💔 because percy, like all greek demigods, are destined to live and die as heroes, a greek tragedy just like all the others before them 😭💔💔💔💔

those poor kids are tools for the gods. pjo gods cannot act freely, so they use their children to do things that they can't. cú chulainn NEVER has to worry about that. yes, he had a few gods meddle in his life (morrigan being one), but they definitely aren't as bad as the way the pjo gods meddle. there's no oppressive system in the ror verse that requires the gods to use demigods to do their bidding. cú chulainn was free to live his life as he wishes; he is not shackled the same way pjo demigods are and his gods aren't shackled the way pjo gods are either.

he didn't have to live his life being told "you're never gonna make it to adulthood because ur a demigod and we always die as a tragic hero because that's the fate we've been given 🤗", was never used as a toy soldier, he has freedom. no suicide quests, no prophecies, no divine intervention constantly uprooting his life for the worse, there were wars and battles, but those were mortal ones that he willingly joined, not godly ones that the gods made him fight in.

pjo demigods' lives just genuinely SUCK. they have tragedy in their veins that they can never remove and the way their world works is just so heavily built against them 💔

cú chulainn is going to be so very very VERY grateful that he was not born as a demigod in that universe 💀💀💀💀💀 he's gonna gently grab percy by the shoulders, give her a good shake, and tell her very seriously, "your life is miserable 😐 (marry me and i'll give you a better one 💖)"

also, seeing how they live would be an eye-opener because a lot of stuff about percy makes SOOOO much sense to him now. no wonder she seemed aghast as to why he lives so selfishly, why he chooses to fight in the apocalypse despite it meaning he'd fight for the destruction of humanity should he win.

percy grew up amongst demigods who lived tragic lives but died heroic fates, she even WITNESSED it herself. the idea of a demigod consciously choosing to destroy humanity and being fully aware of his actions is so unlike what she's used to. luke at least had a good and noble reason for his revolution and he killed himself in the end to stop kronos, ethan's betrayal was understandable and just and he tried to stop kronos and died for it, but cú chulainn lives selfishly without a care for other people's lives and she's not used to that from a demigod.

(omg i rambled too much but i cannot wait to write more about them ashahfvh bahsgdhb i'm loving the whole "hero vs warrior" thing between them too much sorry guys! 💖💖💖)

[jiafeick-merriproduct]

toony's top 10 favorite lotf ships!!!

(I LOVE EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST BTW 🔥🔥)

1. Jalph

- u saw this coming didnt u HEHEH... ngl i just really love their angst the most, and when i see fluff of them im like "AWWWW THEY'RE SO CUTEE.... IM SO SAD THEY FOUGHT N BROKE UP </3" also outside of romantic things when this is just a platonic pairing, I love how have some goofy ahh things in common, like how jack and ralph both think that africa is a country 😭💀 these two are absolutely adorable, tragic, doomed, and super swaggy in every single aspect. NOT PERFECT OFC! but still a ship that will truly be a core memory for my life forever and ever. and honestly? the imperfections that jalph has are what make this ship even more interesting.

2. Pigmon

- its genuinely sad to not see much content of these two... they have so much potential its crazy... they're like my top 2 best bois ever 😭😭✨✨ I REMEMBER THAT ONE PART WHERE simon was giving back piggy's glasses after they had been shattered :(( AND ALSO WHEN SIMON GAVE HIS MEAT TO PIGGY IN CHAPTER 4... AAAAAGHHG BROOOOOOO LIKE even though most of the time i realistically think of it as one-sided ive done a lot of roleplays where piggy and simon actually reciprocate feelings for each other and it's so cute!!!!

3. Jager

- HUNTER BESTIES TO LOVERS HUNTER BESTIES TO LOVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I READ LIKE ONE HURT/COMFORT FIC OF THEM AND ONE STRAIGHT UP ANGST ONE AND MY HEART ACHESSSSS BRO DAAAAMMMNNNN...... also whoever came up with the name "huntingmates" for them (I FORGOR UR NAME IM SO SORRY I WANNA CREDIT U 😭😭) you are a REAL ONEEE!!!!! and another thing, i started playing pjsk like two weeks ago and today i just started reading the stories of vbs... gng what if akitoya was jager in a different universe... EHHEHEHEHDHSHXHSHXHSHSHHC!!?!?!!?!!

4. Ralmon

- THIS ONE IS SO CUTE!! never getting over the fact that at one point canonically simon bumped into a tree really hard bc he couldn't stop looking at ralph while walking next to him RHCHFHDNCHDJCNSSJNEND!!!!!!! SO CUTE OMGG......... and the angst would be so crazy... like i imagine ralph blaming himself over and over again for participating in murdering simon and just completely falling apart... :((

5. Jimon

- a year ago in the early stages of my lotf days i swore to myself that i would never like this ship UNTIL A FEW MONTHS AGO!!!! SOMEONEEEEE SOOOOOMEEEEEOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEE—YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE I LOVE YOU DAWG—MADE THE MOST GORGEOUS JIMON DRAWINGS EVER AND I WAS LIKE "HOLD OOOOOONNNNNNN" AND I CONSIDERED AND CONSIDEREDDDDDD AND WROTE AND DISCUSSED... AND NOW JIMON IS IN MY TOP 5!!!!!! U CHANGED MY LIFE BRO THIS IS A MAJOR TURNING POINT IN MY LOTF ERA FRFR I CHERISH THIS SHIP IN MY HEART ALWAYSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭✨✨✨✨🗣🔥🗣🔥🗣🔥🗣🔥🗣🔥🗣🗣🔥🗣🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊📢📢📢📢

next half under the cut to prevent this tag from being blocked with yap

6. Raliggy

- i think about this ship way less often than i should... bc i know i KNOW ralph treated piggy like dogshit in the beginning BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT later on it all started making sense, these two kids are just desperate to survive, and they are both scared in their own ways, and just being around each other makes them comfortable... THERE IS SO MUCH SADNESS TO THEIR TIME ON THE ISLAND THAT I GOTTA LEARN TO THINK ABOUT IT MORE... 😭😭😭 MAAAAAAAANNNN.....

7. Mauridew (I MADE THIS ONE!!!!)

- a year ago during my summer vacation on my japan trip i thought of a simple idea: who would fit each member in diverdiva from love live? i thought maybe roger would be karin at first but i was like "nah karin has a more slay style" and i went with jack instead! and then ofc in my mind, maurice will always be ai. so basically karin and ai, both extremely cool, swaggy, and confident superstars would be jack and maurice. and BOY OH BOY THATS WHEN THE NAME COMBINATION CAME IN. my thought process was like "what would their ship name be... obviously not using jack's first name bc what the hell are we gonna do with maurack or jaurice... what if we did merridew instead, like merrice or mauridew- DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!!!!!!! MAURIDEW!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHGHHFHFHGHDHSJSJCJ!!!!!!!" AND THEN I REALIZED HOW MUCH POTENTIAL I COULD MAKE WITH THEM!!! jack is more on the chaotic evil side, while maurice would be more on the chaotic good side, and both would be chaotic icons who like to mess around!! in a modern school setting, they would do silly and harmless pranks lol I LOVE THEMMMMM

8. Rogermon

- quiet kids quiet kids!!!! i think they'd be cute together too, with obviously a lot of angst. honestly i used to think them a lot more last year, but not many people are talking about them anymore so they appear in my mind less frequently now. i participated in many rogermon angst roleplays with my fellas back then and boy oh boy were they ANGSTY. they were depressing as hell LIKE IN A GOOD WAY OFC BC THE PLOTS WE MADE WERE CRAZY but yeah they're cool :D

9. Rogice

- i just thought they'd be aight together! i think in some way they'd get along very well, maybe share a few inside jokes. :3 not much to say abt them tbh but i just get the vibe that they'd be swaggin together ^_^

10. Ralger

- i remember when this ship was popping off in the tag for like a week or so and i fw'd it SO HEAVY. i like their vibe, and i think they have the potential to be a very silly duo. they didnt interact much in the book tho so we can't tell for sure about the relationship they have in canon, but the good thing is that it leaves a lot of room for imagination and creativity of our super swaggy ralger shippers in this community 🔥🔥 I LOVE YGS SMMMMMM AAAAAHGHGGH YGS ARE SO COOLLLLLL

Honorable Mention: Mauram

- the rarest rarepair of all time and people COOK when making headcanons and art about them. all the time. fr all the time. 🔥🔥 mad respect for ygs i love yall sm WHEN I SEE THESE TWO TOGETHER IM LIKE "HELL YEAH!!!!! HELLLLL YEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!!!! THEMMMM!!!!!!!!!"

anyways thats it for this ranking!! i hope ygs enjoyed this super swaggy post ✨✨

[archiveofliterature]

i see a lot of criticism about the friendships between the babel characters and how we were told a lot of things about their positive dynamic, yet shown barely any of it (but are instead mostly presented with the negative aspects). i don’t know if other people clocked this but i feel like it was intentional

rf kuang was commenting on friendships made through trauma-bonding: they were doomed from the start

tldr; the characterisation is (one of) the subtly(ies) people were looking for in the colonial theme. they criticise the latter but i love the fact colonialism is more of an upfront theme because lord knows i am tired of it being subtle so people can ignore it

robin says from the very beginning after they formed their little friend group:

“why had they been so quick, so carelessly eager to trust one another? why had they refused to see the myriad of ways they could hurt each other? why had they not paused to interrogate their differences in birth, in raising, that meant they were not and could never be on the same side?”

the next small paragraph goes into a raft metaphor about how they saw themselves in each other and that’s why they stuck together. they shared one thing they could not ignore – their otherness. their friendship was purely built on the fact they were discriminated against and that they had to spent the next 4 years with each other. their first pleasant conversation is them discussing how they were treated at oxford. of course, the characters didn’t see this because they had never really befriended people their age before. this feeling of belonging felt like love to them (considering their upbringings, ramy’s i will discuss in a bit)

it makes perfect sense why robin would repeatedly imply that they loved and cared about each other. in his eyes, they did. what was it they had if not love? robin, who has ignored so many problems in the past before babel as he knew it would cause him issues, wouldn’t address their friendship dynamic or how strong the arguments and animosity were. he, an abused child, would rather have this than nothing at all

in actuality (demonstrated, i think, through the photograph they took at the end of chapter 9), they were together because of academia’s and discrimination’s forced proximity. robin feels specific emotions about them that feel strong to him because he’s never experienced it before, but that doesn’t mean they are strong enough to keep them together, which is why when they see the photo, they feel weird about it because why isn’t it portraying their dynamic ‘correctly’?

it’s true that perhaps to get robin’s perspective across, it would’ve been good to see the positive aspects more but i think that would’ve made it harder for us to see how weak their friendship was. people wanted more positive to show that they loved each other, which isn’t the point rf kuang is trying to make

rf kuang chooses to show the negative aspects more because they show where their friendship will end up. when letty did what she did, i didn’t see it as a plot twist, i saw it as an inevitability. this was going to happen. honestly, i feel this with most of the ‘plot twists’ of babel except the end of book iii (i really didn’t see that coming). it was easy for letty to do what she does in book iv because their friendship had such unstable foundations. when they no longer benefitted her, she turned her back on them

the only dynamic i feel was actually strong was robin and ramy. i’m not just saying this because i think they’re queer lol. they were close not just because they were both men of colour and had similar upbringings – they actually liked each other. they admired each other and adored each other’s personalities, they bounced off each other and knew what the other meant when they spoke. when they argued, it was over something that actually considered each other’s beliefs and goals and desires, not over their differences.

(unlike letty and ramy, letty and victoire and maybe even robin and victoire, though i think they lean more to ramy/robin than they do to letty/anyone lol. ramy and victoire have a dynamic that i personally feel like robin didn’t really see because ramy understood victoire in a way robin couldn’t. you kind of see it when robin is the one who letty complains about ramy/victoire to, but that’s it i think?)

speaking of ramy, linking it back to their perspectives of love, it makes a lot of sense why he caused the most disruption in the friend group. he’s the only one with an actual family that he stays in touch with. he knows what love feels like. so of course he’s the one that is strongly anti-empire, compared to robin and victoire who have been emotionally manipulated in their childhood by said empire, the one who argues with letty the most. he still feels what robin and victoire feel, of course, but to a lesser extent

honestly i don’t know how to end this analysis, i just think rf kuang is a genius lmao but i may add more onto this as i continue to reread the book we shall see

[starleavess]

it's honestly kind of crazy how much of dave's behavior you can compare to a dog's. he's lonely -- he lost henry. he's been abandoned -- by henry dying; he's lost the only person who he considered family before jack. he's hurt -- because of henry and his past, even if he doesn't fully realize that. one of dave's first reactions to rejection and abandonment is sadness. the moment when you decline his offer of murdering children in dsaf 1 is an exception, as it's simply an invitation for jack to 'hang out' with him. one of their first interactions in the trilogy is him suggesting they kill kids to get out of this place that jack got hired at like 5 minutes ago. and... that's quite literally all he knows. he was never taught normal things, he was never taught how to play with other kids or how to talk to people or how to do normal, fun activities. he was taught how to take lives instead. he was taught what to do so that things would go his way, even if he doesn't often use that ability to benefit himself. his number one priority seems to be jack, now that henry isn't around anymore. he focuses solely on him, and if he's going to make fazbenders go down, dave'll help him along the way. he considers jack his family, his partner, his second half. he is forced to love the people he considers close unconditionally on top of everything he does, because that's what he was taught to do. it became his instinct, much like a dog's. his instinct, which he couldn't ignore in the end, nor disobey. henry was the one who forcefully drilled that mindset into his brain through all of the abuse he made him go through and how he kept on treating him when he was younger. dave didn't know he was being manipulated nor used and therefore he thought that this was love. if he wants to be loved, he has to obey. if there isn't anything you can compare something to, how can you know it's right? how could he know what love was if he never truly experienced it?

in the bad ending of dsaf 3, he doesn't push jack away. he doesn't struggle against him as he breaks more than his heart. he simply begs him not to do this as all he does is helplessly "sit" still in one place. a dog which knows its doom is near and all it can do about it is accept it. and those still aren't his final words. his final words are "i love you" directed at jack. his family. a part of him does not want to obey. a part of him wants to lash out, be angry, be angry at the world which turned against him. no longer stay the victim. and we see just that in davetrap, which is a live (even if he's dead) manifestation of that part of dave. no matter how much he tries to get rid of his deeply rooted mindset which makes him hardwired to do what others want him to do, he can't. davetrap can't. he can't because he unreservedly loves people who hurt him. he loves henry and he loves jack. it's just like an instinct. when jack tells him to get out of his restaurant in the neutral ending of dsaf 3, he obeys. when henry asks him a question, he answers. they're his family -- how can he not listen to them and trust them with his life? that's what family's supposed to do, anyway. he learned that family members don't keep secrets from eachother. he didn't mention the box to jack until the bad ending in dsaf 3, which means that he did keep secrets from him in the past, long before he confessed he considered him his family. again, you can't keep secrets around people you love. he gave jack a key to the box and asked him to open it with him like it was a tradition. like it was something they've been doing together for 20 years, something dave can't let go of. dave likes simplicity. i can only think of three examples of simple things which bring him comfort, and the last two are not necessarily… uncomplicated. they wouldn't come across a normal person's mind if you had told them to think of something plain they enjoy doing. but those things are simple to Him and i think that that's very important for his character. even if complicated, it is easy to him. the first thing is vegas. in vegas, he has the chance to just have fun. like a normal person. a normal person with a fucked up and soulless friend, but a friend nonetheless. a person who doesn't kill innocent children. a person who wasn't abused in the past. a person just like all the other people currently at a club with him in las vegas. the second example is animatronics and just tampering with mechanics in general. that is something he is good at, most importantly. he's been working with henry long enough to just tamper with fazbender's animatronics for fun or to disable them to his advantage. he got used to this and it became simple to him with time. and the last thing on the list -- killing kids. that doesn't bring him joy, obviously, but it works as a last resort if things go south. an easy option like many other. he has murdered many in the past, so do just a few more children make that big of a difference? jack is simple to him because that's just someone who he is "friends" with, if you can even put it that way. he clings to him. he's simple, even if he is a very complex character. dave himself is, too, or atleast in henry's eyes. the doctor sees him as dimwitted, someone who's unable to comprehend his genius. like a dog, far below a human person. simplicity isn't something that dave was exposed to very often as a child. he had to constantly perform for food and sleep outside and whatnot just to survive. a kid shouldn't have to be on his own for years. simplicity just wasn't something that was available to him for free in those times.

that was, until he met henry. henry made it better for him, even if there were layers upon layers of abuse under how he was helping dave. he did make it better. he no longer had to fend for himself, alone. he was no longer abandoned, much like a terrified dog picked up from the damp streets. everything was better, so he didn't question anything. he was loved, he had someone close to him, he had shelter, a purpose, even if it was to be used and later discarded, no longer a man with hope for the future. but how could he know? and now, he is drawn to things which he lacked in his childhood. simple things. he loves them unconditionally. they remind him of henry.

[2demondogs]

hii! I loved your take on LH!Arthur and his bio kid! Could you maybe write something about Dutch having a bio daughter? Just like how he is as a father while also running a gang of outlaws. Thank you!! I love your work sm!!

Thank you! Honestly kinda hoped someone would ask for Dutch. I think he would one day look in the water of a still river and, mortified, realize he's just the male version of his mother.

Reader lowkey doomed by the narrative. Ain't no one wanna be that man's favorite kid I'll tell u that right now bucko

CW for Dutch being Dutch.

Dutch is less flimsy about letting you see the violent parts of life. After you learn what words really mean, only on rare occasions are you allowed in his tent while he's discussing a job or lecturing someone. A little violence is necessary, though. As soon as you can hold a gun, you're taught how to defend yourself and hunt.

It's partially about your innocence and partially about the vague sense of shame and guilt that haunts him. Outlaws ≠ criminals, yeah whatever helps you sleep at night, Dutch. Despite it, you will ideally become an outlaw too. If you don't, he'd be more ashamed to see you grow into a docile bootlicker than a violent criminal.

As such, Dutch insists on giving you most of your education. Periods, pregnancy, and other matters too "feminine" for him are handed to Susan, who is essentially your governess. Your moral compass, literacy, and social skills are his concerns. All very Victorian of him, for a man who teaches you that anything beyond the bounds of camp is claim to an ominous enemy: "them." We love a paranoid anarchist dad. And yes, he teaches you to read and write using simpler Evelyn Miller passages.

There is one thing he will hand over to Hosea, and that's the art of lying through your teeth. Dutch learned from the best, so why shouldn't you? Unfortunately for him, until you were old enough to actually know what a con artist is, Hosea's main goal was to teach you how to manipulate Dutch. He's definitely sent you on a few missions to get the man to do something he wants. Don't hate the playa hate the game

As far as being taught how to be a person, you're on your own fairly young. Dutch chose to do it, but he was self-sufficient at fifteen. Susan's guidance also transitions from caring for yourself to caring for the camp rather quick. By sixteen, Dutch's main punishment for mistakes is his disappointment without any guidance on how to move forward.

He's not all bad, though. He's got your wire comforts down: your food and water and shelter. He makes sure you're comfortable, that you build strong relationships, and that you get a good chunk of his attention. He has a bad habit of paying the most affection to whichever shiny new gang member washes up, but you'll always make him the most proud. You're his girl, after all. That's also a bad habit considering Arthur, John, and Tilly are just as much his as you are, but I digress.

If you're not spoiled to his standards, he feels he's failed you as a father. He makes sure you have nice things, which he works hard to steal for you, and that you've got your own tent with a cot, not a bedroll. The spoiled-rotten treatment fades as you get older, but you'll always be his princess, for better or worse. If you want something, then, chances are he'll take you out and show you the best way to steal it instead of simply handing it to you.

You're with the other women more often than not, especially while you're young. Susan is typically the one in charge of the ladies, but Dutch gets more leeway with you considering he's your dad. Again, for a guy who hates society's structures, he treats you like property at times. But he also treats his boys like that, soooo... equality win? All this to say, he overrules Susan and lets you have more freedom to leave camp than the other girls. If you get into trouble, though, he'll anxiously refuse letting you out of his sight until he gets busy and forgets he was supposed to be coddling you. Rinse and repeat. Once Molly comes along, you're usually expected to chill with her, since you exist in the same strange hierarchical pocket.

[raiseupyourbat]

G o d. All gekkos' outertale posting makes me wanna talk more in depth about the characterisation and plot issues in this game and why they bother me...

(readmore bc holy fuck this got long, it's probably like 5k words. It's also pretty much all salt, categorised by character)

Toriel

Why. Why is she like this. Kinda feels like the creator of the game hates her and if they don't, they have a weird way of showing it. She's treated as overdramatic and unjustified in her anger at asgore despite the fact that he DID declare war on humanity and he DID willingly let the people believe he was killing human children to harvest their souls. Even if he didn't do it for real in this game, she has every right to be angry and to not trust him, and it CERTAINLY doesn't make her undeserving to be a mother or whatever. Idk about you, but I don't think wanting kids to stay away from a man yelling about wanting to kill every child that crosses him makes you a bad parent, even if it turns out he didn't really hurt anyone y'know?

They also REALLY zoned in on 'mother' with her in a way that doesn't really make sense here. I could maybe see her feeling guilty for making a snap judgement but how would that call her motherhood into question?

Sans saying isolation messed with her makes no sense too!!!! The outerlands or whatever they called the ruins isn't sealed off in this game, other monsters seem way less intimidated by her in this game than in undertale (she has friends! She knows sans by name and goes to napstablook's shows and even has their phone number!), and we outright get told she takes the taxi to get her groceries... Meaning she headed off to the rest of the outpost and probably does that often enough.

All things considered, Toriel seems fairly well adjusted in outertale, at least by outertale standards. Kinda then makes it feel like everyone's just trying to convince her she's hysterical and that... Sucks.

Also the fact that they added an ending where you stay with her and framed it as a bad ending that doomed everyone is... Really mean? It sucked ass I'm sorry :/

Sans

... Why is he like this. This take on Sans is absolutely infuriating tbh. The only positive I really have here is that his puns are kinda good, I've seen fangames that fuck up this element massively and it was kinda fun to see his interactions in starton.

Okay, back to salt. His whole 'i became a sentry to help humans' thing is trash. He didn't care about that in ut! He didn't care about that at all! The only reason he looks out for frisk is because he made a promise to toriel, and he hates breaking promises. He didn't want to let down his friend.

...Huh. realising this is yet another case of Toriel disrespect somehow. Yet another thing they took from her, that they then just... Handed over to sans instead. :/

His lack of backstory. Look, I get wanting something silly, but they took almost everything that makes sans interesting away. Not hyperfocusing on sans like certain aus do is nice, but it feels like in a lot of situations in this game they overcompensated by a long shot.

No mysterious past/origins. We know he worked with alphys I guess but???? Honestly I have a LOT to rant about for that part so I'll leave it for twinkly's section. And yet despite all this, Sans inexplicably bleeds in tpe when not even undertale has that happen? Make up your mind!

His role in non Asriel chaotic also... Sucks ass. I'm in a pretty awesome corner of the fandom in terms of the people I follow and the takes I see as a result, so if I'm honest, when I saw all those posts about 2024 fanon sans being indifferent to his brother's murder, I kinda just figured they were vaguing about this game. You're telling me that sans of all people just shrugs off you killing everyone and complains a little bit before letting you pass?! He should know alphys already ran off. He should know the only person left to stop you is asgore, and that it's obvious he won't. Part of this could be connected to how frisk is written perhaps, and much like the twinkly situation, I'll have much more to say on that further down.

I understand the creator didn't wanna have a sans fight in their game - however, if that's the case... Maybe come up with a reason for him to NOT show up in the last corridor, then? Have him busy helping with evacuations or something, or already dead like in the first chaotic ending... This was just sloppy.

Papyrus

Honestly he wasn't... Terrible. The phonecalls were fun even if most were cheap references (though they can be fun in fangames sometimes so I'm not mad at this lol). Him being extremely talented at making spaghetti is just one symptom of one of this game's biggest flaws, however. I really don't like how nobody's really allowed to be bad at anything or have any real struggles in this game - especially when spaghetti in undertale is used to demonstrate his relationship with undyne and the similar wavelength they're on when humans aren't involved. She's the one who started teaching him to cook it, it's deeply intertwined with his desire to be a royal guard, and it's something they suck at together. Him just inexplicably being good at it is... Weird, and feels really disconnected from their friendship and her reluctance to let him in the guard yknow?

Also: his boss final phase. Having the dog NOT take his special attack away this time was really funny admittedly but... Idk? Not only is the fight really unfair for pacifist/neutral and those who aren't as good at the game (ut never gets this hard outside of geno), it feels way too on the nose in terms of insisting he's strong and has powerful attacks. Undertale didn't need to overcompensate to get across that papyrus is strong and disciplined and the way you have to infer that in undertale is way cooler. I might just be nitpicking with this point tbh but it's whatever. Letting myself be a hater for once.

And don't get me started on him getting together with Mettaton. It seemed to come out of absolutely nowhere, the idea that they were already friends in this was glossed over really quickly and no time was really put into developing the relationship save for papyrus commenting on finding him attractive every few minutes.

Gotta be honest, I've never been a fan of this ship nor understood its popularity. Papyrus very briefly mentions thinking he's attractive in undertale, but it doesn't really go anywhere and I'm not even sure mettaton knows he exists. It feels like it was just kinda added because it's a popular ship and that's it, not sure it really contributes much to either of their arcs. It was a light-hearted celebrity crush in canon and never really tried to be more.

Oh, oops. Had more to say here than I thought.

Undyne

Not much to say here... I think she was okay, there's nothing super bad with her. I do think the way gerson kinda downplays her/lacks faith in her in the chaotic route kinda sucks and I think choosing to make her non-undying chaotic bossfight harder sure was A Choice, but it's whatever. Undying was weirdly easy in a way that didn't do her much justice. Honestly they didn't do enough with her for me to have a wall of complaints and I can't tell if that's a good thing or not. Her relationship with alphys didn't really amount to much and her lack of understanding of human culture doesn't really hit as hard when she's just talking about random sci-fi things that we have no way of knowing are real or not in this game's idea of the 2600s ourselves, y'know? Her love of anime (that she mistakenly thinks is human history) is pretty absent here except to validate her relationship with alphys in a very shallow way.

The Ghost Family

Hoo boy... Was gonna make this the mettaton section, but I wanted to talk about napstablook at the same time, so I'm just gonna lump them all together.

What. What the hell was this plotline.

It feels like they tried to go for 'smalltime farmer chases passion for stardom after feeling unfulfilled at home' and as I've seen someone else say, 'shy business owner struggles to talk to their cousin outside of work'. This would've been fine tbh, but... There's a lot of things in the execution of this that kinda grossed me out if I'm honest. I don't think they were intentional, but I think it could've been thought through a lot better to avoid some unfortunate implications - or even lean into them in a respectful way.

Firstly, the ghost family intervention was pretty long, awkward, and didn't feel like it really added much - especially when most people playing would already know mettaton's backstory anyway (and his house is still accessible like in undertale!!!!! What was the point?)

Mettaton airing out his family issues on live TV feels very ooc - he keeps that stuff very close to his chest and I doubt he'd like it getting out. Him entertaining any of that out in the open seems... Weird.

Speaking of the intervention, his cousins' treatment of him was horrifying! Part of it seems intentional and it's nice that there's at least one part in the game where characters are allowed to have flaws and do bad things but... There's also elements that feel like you're meant to agree with them? Their insistence that mettaton just come home and everything they did in the past with constantly badgering him to come and help out on the farm were rightfully treated as something that hurt mettaton's feelings and that gave napstablook and the others pause. That's (mostly, we'll come back to it later) fine. He called them out for it and they reflected on it, cool. The way his ghost form was utilised makes me extremely uncomfortable, however.

Napstablook talks about hearing 'the real [mettaton]' in the recording, right to his face, 'the real mettaton' in this scenario alluding to his ghost form. Considering mettaton is a trans allegory, this feels... Kinda gross? In a similar vein, when passing mettaton's quiz barriers, one of the questions is 'what is mettaton's true identity' and you have the option to deadname him (using a name papyrus literally just made up in undertale rather than having any kind of creativity ofc) Alphys' reaction is simply to ask how you know that which... Doesn't feel great. The correct answer is 'mettaton' ofc thankfully, but everything around this particular plot point feels weird. Maybe don't do that w the most prevalent trans allegory character..?

And ofc, they keep insisting he just come home, go back to working on the farm, go back to his family... Idk, gives me vibes of someone abandoning their shitty transphobic family and then insisting they want to see 'the real [deadname] again' and for them to abandon their new life and just go back to the way things were before. Not good.

All of this would still be okay for the most part since the ghost family are painted as being unfair to mettaton... But in true pacifist, he goes back to helping out with the farm anyway and talks about how he thinks he was probably just being dramatic after all, and how 'blooky didn't do anything that bad'

... What?

It takes me right back to Toriel's treatment. Napstablook, Maddie and lurksalot gave no real thought to mettaton's feelings, made it all about them and showed pretty much no support for his transition nor his career! Fuck those guys! It's funny - mettaton is pretty consistently a pompous asshole (affectionate) in undertale but here, I think all his feelings towards his family were COMPLETELY valid. Mettaton outertale didn't do anything wrong.

Lurksalot didn't feel like they contributed much to the story either, save to be yet another character treating mettaton like shit with zero consequences nor narrative judgement. They just made every ghost family event even more drawn out.

And then ofc!!!! Mettaton and Alphys' friendship is so bland in this game! They're two people who kinda know each other and she says some nice things about him in a letter in chaotic but that's about it. Their friendship and the subsequent conflict frisk's arrival brings to it in undertale is the heart of hotland and the core, but here it's just replaced with unnecessary, hard to watch, boring family drama. The two of them have no issues to work out. She doesn't ask too much of him. There's no funny quips and barely any chemistry at all. God forbid either of them have any real flaws.

One last thing: I'm glad maddie gets her mew mew body, it's nice. Wish it was an on-screen moment or something alluded to more though. Some of that time dragging out the family drama could've been used on that instead, y'know? Especially with napstablook getting the mew mew doll... Genuinely thought they were gonna show it to her when they first got hold of it, rather than dragging Frisk into their intervention. She should've gotten to be more mad, too. Kinda a big part of her identity.

Oh, and mettaton's no-asriel chaotic fight was bullshit. It was a nice spamton reference and the first phase was cool, but the second was utter bullshit and dragged out the fight way too long. Attacking him after snapping all the wires should've killed him im sorry. It's even more of a shame bc I genuinely really liked this game's mettaton neo fight - it was fun and creative and felt possible.

Holding myself back from adding any more to this bc I could go on and on, ugh.

Alphys

Alphys. For a game that tries to make her the star of it, it's actually kinda impressive how much they managed to take away from her and just how uninteresting she is in this game.

At the surface level she's awesome, powerful, and the star of the show. In my first playthrough I was actually pretty happy to see her thriving like this! The more routes I played and the more I thought about it though they just kinda... Declawed her. Took away all her flaws. Made her 'perfect' in a way that I don't think works at all.

The amalgamates never happened. None of her experiments went wrong. She never hid away from her mistakes, or lied to anyone (save for keeping Asgore's secret, which she has no negative feelings about), nor did she over engineer any situations to make herself seem cooler. She doesn't argue with Mettaton! She's confident and assertive! She's Asgore's right hand woman and next in line for the throne! And ofc, the badass final boss! What's not to love?

...But none of this is Alphys, is it?

Her anxiety isnt just because of the determination experiments, it's pretty clear she's always been a pretty shy and nervous person. In fact, based on her entries they were one of the things she was more confident in before it all went wrong. People are hard, but she knows science, y'know?

She doesn't get to be flawed or interesting - despite her presence, she's just a generic cool scientist who's suave with the ladies, I guess..?

She isn't particularly dorky, shes overly confident, she has zero issues to work through. Her relationship with undyne is perfect (derogatory) and her infodumping about anime just before the archive feels very forced, like they remembered last minute that she does that and thought it should be included somehow.

Depicting what she'd be like in a scenario where the determination experiments never happened is a fun and interesting idea! But deltarune demonstrates how to do that well, and I think they completely missed the mark. The way she talks, her body language, the way she acts around others in general... These things are universal constants and yet in outertale, she's basically a different person entirely.

Outertale alphys isn't allowed to lie (save to cover for asgore Secretly Being A Good Person), she isn't allowed to miscalculate, she isn't allowed to mis-speak or make mistakes or do anything she'd regret. She feels like an alphys written by someone who hates her in canon and thinks all her flaws make her terrible and unlikable. I doubt this is the case since I don't think a person like that would've given her such prevalence, but that's the level of love and attention I feel was given to her writing here. It makes me sad.

And, of course... The DT experiments and her fight.

... Why did she have vials of determination if all the humans are alive? Did she take it from them? If so, was this before or after they went into stasis? We know she's not been the royal scientist for long in relation to how long humans have been falling, so did ROMAN take the determination? How much of this did she even DO?

Why did she and sans even DO anything with determination? It... Doesn't really make sense.

Speaking of determination, why did she melt at the end of her fight? I'd assume she's injected herself with determination as one of the vials in her lab is mentioned to be partially used, but I'm pretty sure it's also like this on pacifist. Was that overlooked? Are we just meant to assume it's MORE depleted? Does she just have natural determination now because She's So Cool And Badass? This isn't even really a complaint about the fight, more just how poorly that part of her lab is handled lmao

But getting into her fight... Idk, it didn't really feel like her. A lot of it was just random bullshit that was hard for the sake of being hard, that didn't really seem to be tied to her identity very well at all. People complain a lot about the Zenith Martlet fight in undertale yellow but that's done far better than this, imo. It clearly reflects martlet's character, personality and canonical bullet patterns (we see Alphys' in ut tpe!), there's a genuine feeling of progression in the fight and the act you're given to help with the fight feels more effective - you can still damage her on her turn, so taking a turn to heal act doesn't feel like a waste. The Asriel acts though... They just don't last long enough to feel that worth it? Sure they're okay, but in general, you get a lot less time to breathe. Martlet's fight lets you retry from phase 2 if you die. Sans' in undertale gives you as many turns as you need to heal while he's sparing you. Alphys' fight just feels like it's made to feel un-fun and painful throughout in a way that just isn't worth it, and doesn't really feel like it fits her personality either, y'know? The fight was just a slog and like many others, I had zero motivation to finish it legit. I don't think it helps that the undyne and mettaton fights in this route are fairly easy and simple in comparison.

Tldr: they took away everything that makes alphys endearing, fun and interesting. This isn't alphys at all.

Asgore

A huge chunk of this essay accidentally got deleted, including my first attempt at writing this section. In it, I mentioned that the Asgore apologism went way too far.

This time though, I don't think I'd even call it that. Reflecting on it, it feels less like an attempt to defend him and more like a way to hate on and spite Toriel.

Seriously. So much of his character basically just feels like someone going 'fuck you toriel. I'm giving EVERYTHING to asgore.'

It's... Really weird?

Asgore having a way out of killing humans is an interesting concept! Outertale takes place 500 years in the future compared to undertale, so the idea that they have the resources and technology to do that is kinda cool and in theory, exploring this idea sounds really fun. In practice though, it feels like it was mostly done to make Toriel out to be an asshole for no reason and to laugh at her for ever assuming he would've really killed anyone (despite... Y'know. Telling everyone that's what he was doing.)

He just. Completely moved on from Toriel without a second thought seemingly, and doesn't even look that affected by seeing her turn up again - meanwhile SHE'S got crumpled up tea recipes in the trash and all the Sad Divorced Energy - it doesn't really fit either of them! Toriel wasn't really given a reason to miss him like that, and I think even if he DID fully move on, he'd be way happier to see her than that.

All his leading statements on how she must feel in LV1 pacifist sucked ass also, especially with the way she kinda just agreed that yeah, she feels like shit for not trusting that he'd suddenly do a 180 and not hurt anyone (AGAIN. AFTER HE CONTINUED TO LET EVERYONE BELIEVE THIS) and that she must feel unworthy of being a mother. She hadn't even said half of this in front of him yet! He put words in her mouth! That in itself would be fine (social blunders are pretty normal for asgore after all) but it... Wasn't treated like that. It was handled as if this was a sweet and compassionate thing for him to say which... Yikes.

And ofc he gets to adopt frisk, and monster kid, and get to have Asriel live with him! His fatherhood is never called to question in undertale, but ofc Toriel's motherhood has to be here. Hell, despite their divorced status, if you talk to gerson in tpe it's highly implied frisk asks if asgore would start aging again if he became their dad! Idk, all of this part just reeked of Toriel hate and nothing more. Asgore is just yet another character to get sanded down and de-clawed and it sucks. So much of what makes him interesting is his mistakes and flaws and how they impact him, y'know?

Twinkly

I wanna start this by saying I don't think his writing is too bad. It's not amazing by any means but by outertale standards, he's one of the better written characters. That being said, Flowey is my favourite character of all time so I'm still gonna be critical.

So they did save the goat. Save the goat aus really aren't my thing nowadays - I feel like so often people act like he's a separate person to Flowey entirely and act like the alarm clock app dialogue doesn't exist. Asriel didn't end the story as a doomed tragedy fated to fade away! Flowey ended the story as someone who finally got closure on the loss of his best friend, and can finally learn to move on, even if it takes him a while to adjust. I don't think he needs to be a goat again for that.

That being said, I know these kinda aus are a big wish fulfilment thing for a lot of the fandom that aren't even necessarily something people want to be canon as much as they just wanna explore the idea and see him truly happy, so I won't judge that element too harshly. People are allowed to have fun, and I think save the goat can be fine if it respects him as flowey rather than separating them.

I really like that they allow Asriel to be fucked up and an asshole rather than him soft rebooting into some Sweet Perfect Little Prince once he returns to his old form, like so many other save the goat takes. Even in lv0's ending he struggles to bite back insults and mean comments aimed at Monster Kid which is... Admittedly kinda refreshing! There's definitely some flowey (or I guess in this case, twinkly) behaviour that still comes through here and I'm glad. This carried over to chaotic, too. While his characterisation wasn't perfect, this at least felt like twinkly obtaining a few form and continuing to play with the world, rather than your standard Asriel take. I also really liked that he remembers and acknowledges chaotic if done before pacifist, that was neat and adds to his character (as far as this game goes) I think.

However, onto the biggest, glaring issue I have with him.

Why. Why does he exist.

No, seriously.

In its attempt to make the world perfect, a world that blatantly only exists so the creator could make a save the goat ending, mind, there's no reason for the goat to need to be saved at all. Nor for him to exist after dying back when Chara lived with the dreemurrs.

Asgore isn't killing humans, so the souls don't need to be absorbed by anyone. Frisk can just enter the archive and lend their power to destroy the forcefield themselves, so there's no ultimatum like there is in undertale - there's no implied tradeoff of Frisk's life for the freedom of monsters without twinkly's intervention. In undertale, flowey's messing around opened up an ending that would've otherwise been impossible, something that worked for everyone.

Without him existing at all here, frisk could've broken the barrier just fine. All it really added to pacifist was a couple extra boss fights and asgore being dead for two minutes. And him being saved I guess but again, there's no real story justification for him being here EXCEPT to pat yourself on the back for saving him.

Why was he created? In undertale it's pretty clear - they wanted a vessel to hold all the souls in for now during the true lab experiments. He exists because Alphys selected the first flower to ever grow in the garden and injected it with determination that she extracted from the human souls.

... But all the humans are... Alive and well in outertale? They don't need a vessel to contain their souls. They don't need to extract any determination from anyone. Again, why do they HAVE vials of determination? And why did she inject one into a flower?

AND THAT'S THE OTHER BIG THING. It's established she and sans injected a starling flower for... Whatever reason. SO WHY THE HELL IS TWINKLY A CARTOON STAR?!

This point makes absolutely no sense at all. He looks absolutely nothing like a starling flower nor does he behave like a flower at all, which is confusing if that's what he started as. Honestly, I think it would've made more sense to just keep him as Flowey if they were gonna include him at all, and just have his appearance reflect a starling flower instead of a golden flower.

This applies to his fight too. Mechanically I think it's AWESOME, but the visuals are... Just very very boring. A huge part of why his fight in the original is so good it's the bizarre and chaotic nature of it, the horror elements, and the way so much of flowey's trauma in terms of how he was created and the things he finds scary was put on blast for all to see. The combination of mechanical and organic elements, all the plants and insects... Idk, just going 'hmm he's a star. Let's have him go through a star life cycle' is boring, there's no visual appeal.

If his creation is so vague and wishy washy, this would've been a great opportunity to flesh it out more. How was he created? What kinds of technology and machinery did alphys use to put all this together? How did she (or roman????? unclear) get the determination? What does twinkly remember?

That leads me onto a tangentially related topic - his trauma. I... Don't think this was shown very well. He talks a bit about BEING traumatised from the lab, but telling isn't the same as showing and canon flowey is terrible at hiding it, whereas I'd just as easily believe outertale Asriel made it up for sympathy points. He never really projects, he doesn't force anyone else to experience anything like he did, nothing like that. He's just a cocky asshole who likes killing, and who eventually decides to start being nice.

This game constantly seemed to be speedrunning ways to get him from being twinkly to being Asriel as quickly as possible in almost every single route which... Huh???? It's weird. Would've been nice to let him be a star more rather than just Asriel...

(final amendment bc I lost a huge chunk of this essay originally and had to rewrite it, and I'm realising I didn't manage to fit this in this time... How does a single monster soul let him get his Asriel form again? Sure he's still treated as if soulless and it doesn't make him a good person, but if he was 'so tired of being a star', why hadn't he tried doing this sooner? It makes no sense...)

For a game that exists to give him a good ending, it's so ironic how little he needs to exist at all in this world. Just goes to show what it looks like when you go too far with 'fixing' things or removing stuff you seem 'too problematic' for the sake of being wholesome or whatever.

Chara

Speaking of which... Look I'm just gonna say it. This version of Chara sucks so bad.

Chara is one of my favourite characters - they're really interesting, morally grey, and a fascinating way for undertale as a game to interface with us as players.

They're a child who likely saw the worst of humanity, then found themselves in a home with family who genuinely loved them once they fell down and met the monsters. Their intense saviour complex made them feel like the best way to help their family was to sacrifice their own life to get enough souls to break them free (and once they realised they had control, get payback against the humans while they were at it). They could be mean-spirited and a prankster. They valued efficiency HIGHLY. Their favourite number was nine because it's the limit, the absolute, a way to stop hurting and to stop others hurting.

And by doing geno, you can push this fixation on stats further. Max out all your stats. Gain power. Get stronger. Become invincible. Nobody can hurt any more if the world is gone. And ofc, they stand as the final arbiter of consequences for the player. Your punishment for killing everyone and for pushing them into believing it needs to be completed. Chara both IS is and is separate from us in a way that can't really be fully disentangled and it's really, really cool.

Anyway, enough gushing about undertale Chara. What's outertale Chara in comparison?

... Nothing.

They're nothing.

Outertale Chara narrates occasionally. They're a ghost that follows frisk around, but aren't confined to that, and have been actively wandering the underground since their death. They also still have a SOUL for some reason? This part doesn't really make sense at all.

Other than sacrificing themself and maybe wanting to take out a few humans after Asriel absorbs them, they don't do anything that could be considered bad ever. The most devious thing they ever do is snatch Asriel's diary to leave a silly comment in there when they first arrive at the outpost (sans does this with Toriel's phone in undertale tpe for comparison lmao). Despite what Asriel seems to believe, Chara is completely absent from the chaotic route - never getting corrupted, never caring about our stats, never wanting to hurt anyone, never even trying to make us face any consequences. They're just... Not here. For a character so prevalent in the murder based route of undertale this is fucking wild.

They all but vanish if you so much as say something slightly mean to someone, too! It's strange, makes no sense, and just like with sans, it feels like they overcompensated waaaaaaay too much for the people who insist they're evil. On top of that, if you do chaotic before lv0, they don't even remember chaotic happening! They'd may as well have just been a member of the ghost family who likes following Frisk around when they're especially nice. Like Asgore and alphys, they've been sanded down and de-clawed to be 'wholesome' and 'perfect', and it just results in a bland, boring character who loses anything that made them interesting, nuanced and fun.

'Chara wasn't the greatest person'... Why, though? They don't have enough substance in this game for that line to really have as much impact.

Frisk

I'm gonna be honest - I actually ADORED their frisk at first, and I think that's because I started with a neutral run and ended up drawing them a lot. They felt silly and mischievous and interesting, and this continued into chaotic. They seem pretty chill with what's going on but then take that even further by being hilariously affectionate with Asriel and still doing silly things like being up for picking up the electrodampening fluid or drinking directly out of the fountain. They felt like a funny little mini-kris (save for being okay with all the murder ofc).

Then uhhhhhhh... That's when I experienced the second chaotic ending, the one without Asriel, as well as lv0. I feel like they definitely DID try to lean on the Kris angle on purpose in terms of their feelings on being controlled and stuff but it???? Just doesn't work very well? There's no ambiguity to this version of frisk once you've seen all the routes. Just like EVERYONE ELSE, they're just a perfect little angel who would never do anything wrong and anything past lv0 is just the eeeeeevil player influence or whatever. Come on, we have deltarune for that kinda approach to control 😭 (though even then, Kris is a layered and interesting character who isn't goodness and innocence personalised, and that's why they're cool)

In undertale, we have no idea what frisk is like as a person. WOULD they spare everyone without our influence? Would they kill? Would they be a scared child lashing out in self defense? Would they run from everything, then give up and let themselves die permanently somewhere? We just don't know! We're not supposed to know! It feels like it went back to the very early fandom interpretation where frisk is Good And Sweet and Innocent while Chara is evil incarnate - except this time they're BOTH the former.

It's a contradiction too! Why in the Asriel chaotic route are they so down to follow him, and pet him, and hug him every chance they get if they don't like all the stuff we're making them so? The player has no influence over Twinkly. Every single thing he did, he chose to do, and yet even if the only time frisk has seen him was him destroying their mercy button and forcing them to kill for him, they seem to love him to pieces and go along with whatever he says happily. What.

I feel like they didn't know what to do with Frisk here at all and it shows.

Other characters

This has been ridiculously long, but to quickly go over non-major characters... They did very few things to make Roman seem interesting, the amount of stuff hes implied to have helped Asgore with just reduces even further any influence or impact alphys had, and (a smaller nitpick)... Why didn't he use times new roman as a font when we DID see him speak in the archive/on the signal stars? It's such a missed opportunity...

Burgerpants was fun... Kinda. Developing him like this feels like something that should've happened DURING the actual game rather than before it though because it made him feel like a whole other person entirely? The poisoned food was very funny though.

Why is Snowy now Stardrake when his dad hasn't changed at all and Crystal looks like any other snowdrake? That was bizarre.

I actually really liked the humans! Establishing them as actual characters was really fun, and I especially like justice. Justice, at least in my opinion, is probably the most interesting character in this whole game tbh - someone who tried to do good but ultimately caused more harm than good, while NOT downplaying it, showing the consequences directly, and showing them work to try to make things better. The way we don't grab their item like the others in the twinkly fight nor go through an area for them in the archive (and just talk to them instead) really adds to their intrigue - what are they like? Who did they know? Is there something they don't want us to see? How are they strong enough to not need us to grab their weapon at all to lend their help? I think it's get funny that the only character I'm fully praising is the clover-adjacent one. Justice outertale they could never make me hate you

(that being said... seeing the way this game is clearly just supposed to be a 'fix' for undertale does sour my thoughts on the humans a little. did they only do this bc they thought them NOT being full characters in ut was bad/a problem with it? 🥴 This applies to the additional monster kid story focus too).

Speaking of monster kid... Them being an orphan was clearly just a plot device to give asgore more kids and therefore feel like he won more than Toriel. Monster kid in undertale seems like they probably did have real and loving parents, and they have a sister too!!!! Would've been nice if they'd at least done something with their sister :(

This got... Way longer than I expected, so I'll stop here. But outertale definitely gave me an even bigger appreciation for other ut fangames. My gripes with deltatraveler section 3 feel much smaller in comparison now, if tsus misses the mark on Flowey later down the line they've at least already done most characters so much more justice, and it really puts into perspective all the heart and soul that went into kissy cutie, as well as its genuine love got the source material and characters.

Sorry outertale, you weren't for me. That being said, if anyone disagrees with any of this then that's fine! These are all just my opinions and feelings on it after going through all the routes and talking about it with friends. Media is always gonna resonate with different people in different ways and that's a good thing! If your perspective on any of this is different and if you had way more fun with it, I'm glad you did and I genuinely wish I could've felt the same. I feel like at the very least, making it has probably been a great learning experience for the devs and I really hope they carry on making games and improving their skills. Hope y'all are thriving and having fun regardless 💙

[otogariado]

mentioning LOST's church ending got me riled up about the racism in LOST again lol. i obviously am aware that some actors just did not return to production for possibly other reasons, but also especially in the case of harrold perrineau (michael dawson) he felt like his character (and walt, his son) was treated like shit by the writing. and he was absolutely right. i've already made posts about this (will try to dig them up later), but michael was treated absolutely bullshit and unfairly wrt the story. michael betrayed them and killed two people, yes, but what did he do it for but to protect his son? he felt like nobody gave enough fucks about walt and there was some truth to that claim. his whole character arc is about being a dad to walt and their improving relationship over the course of being stuck on the island, so of course he would do that. it just makes sense.

which is why i don't think it's all that fair to punish him for it immensely in the narrative. harrold perrineau said it himself that he didn't want michael and walt to be another case of the absent black father stereotype [citation needed, i'll look for it but he said it in an interview] yet that's what he ended up being anyway. after his and walt's escape from the island, apparently walt cast him away because he doesn't agree with what his father did—which i actually think its interesting to explore: walt disagreeing with michael's actions and trying to grapple with it, but i don't think separating him from his dad was the best writing choice to make. walt is being punished for caring about his son by making his son be the one to cast him away. you can argue it's supposed to be tragic, michael is supposed to be a tragic character, but with the context surrounding michael's character? there's better ways to make his character be tragic than this.

which brings me to his next punishment. i was happy to see michael again on the kahana (just happy to see him in general), but it didn't last long when he gets killed, sacrificing himself to prevent/prolong the kahana's explosion from happening. (put a 📌 on this bc it's similar to how sayid dies and we'll come back to that later.) michael dies here and walt doesn't know about this. and then michael joins as part of the whispers, his soul trapped on the island (presumably forever) and that's why he's not in the church ending.

i'm gonna be frank. michael being trapped on the island because of his guilt or remorse or perhaps repenting for his sins is just bullshit to me. a lot of characters seen in the flash sideways and in the church ending are characters who've done "bad things". it's bullshit to have michael be the only one doomed to pay for his misdeeds forever. his misdeeds for... killing two people. not that killing two people is Nothing, but moreso if you examine the circumstances it's hardly anything to be damned eternally for.

remember the 📌 we had wrt sayid and michael? both of them died trying to prevent an explosion from reaching everybody else. which makes this more egregious imo. i can say 1000 things about sayid's arc (points to url), but this is about michael and not him, so i'll just focus on this: sayid was grappling with "being a bad person" for torturing and killing so many people. he worked as an assassin for ben. and yet, somehow, you're telling me sayid is not being damned eternally for his misdeeds but michael is? if you don't see the BS in that i don't know what to tell you.

i'm also aware why some characters don't appear any more re:conflicts with their actors (or just availabilities or other reasons for declining to come back), but even then arguably any conflicts with harrold perrineau stemmed from a justified place because of how michael was treated.

i think mr eko had a more dignified arc (he's one of my fav characters, thematically speaking) and honestly he had some of the rawest shit i've ever heard:

I ask for no forgiveness father for I have not sinned, I have only done what I needed to do to survive. A small boy once asked me if I was a bad man, if I could answer him now I would tell him, that when I was a young boy I killed a man to save my brothers life. I am not sorry for this, I am proud of this. I did not ask for the life that I was given but it was given none the less, and with it I did my best.

but despite this it doesn't change the fact that his absence in the church ending is very noticeable. he had meaningful connections with charlie, with locke, and interestingly like michael he kind of parallels sayid but this time thematically through their arcs. sayid is constantly burdened with feeling like he's a bad person and resigning to it as some sort of self-fulfilled prophecy, but mr eko is very firm about how he sees himself as not necessarily a bad man, just a man whose hands were forced because of the cards he was dealt. i wish we could have seen a more direct parallel between them, because it would've been interesting. back to the main point: i think it's such a missed opportunity for mr eko to not be here. especially since even after his death, hurley was able to communicate with his ghost, showing that he still had connections with his fellow losties even long after his death.

ana lucia being "not ready to move on" is interesting. but ultimately you can't help but raise a few eyebrows at it anyway. you can argue that, unlike mr eko she died an unresolved death, but most of the LOST characters died with an unresolved death. (she was killed early.) that's the whole point of the sideways segments. so what makes ana lucia so different from the others? yeah she killed shannon, but that was completely a freak accident. her people (the tailies) were being picked off one by one by the other so she was understandably on edge. she was kind of a hated character but i think a lot of it is just racism and misogyny combined tbh. (LOST is...notorious for a lot of misogynistic character writing decisions.) ana lucia was just as complex and morally "ambiguous" as the rest of them. i find the decision to make her corrupt in the sideways segments interesting (negative). cz like, there was never any indication she was like this in real life. what does that corruption symbolize? because obviously that corruption is a key to why she "can't move on yet". what exactly is she supposed to be repenting for? they hinted at a possible direction her arc is going towards before killing her off, ie. her ultimately choosing not to kill "henry gale" because she no longer wants blood on her hands. again, in a way, she's just like sayid! someone who decided they'd turn away from ceaseless violence. only right afterwards she got killed. so what does she need repenting for so much that she's left out of the church ending? much to think about.

i don't really know how to conclude this post. but my main point is that the lack of these characters during the church ending is and has racist implications. (again, i understand the casting issues, but it's still a writing decision you can critique as a viewer at the end of the day). i'll try to find the old posts i made last year abt michael and mr eko and their parallels to sayid and link them here (and self reblog).

edit: go read/look up "burn it down". it details a lot of the behind the scenes mistreatment of the staff (including racism and sexism), including actors and writers. the quote from an interview from harold perrineau that i mentioned was also linked in a reblog. (post link)

[lemodoe]

thinking about how if tsubomi accepted mob’s confession for whatever reason, how utterly Shit it would go. the world’s most autistic aroace boy and the school popular girl are like so doomed to crash and burn and it would be Incredibly fun to watch.

first off, mob really doesn’t have a crush on her.

he knows her from kindergarten and they’ve rarely spoken since-they might��ve counted as friends before, but now they’re much closer to just acquaintances. fact is, he doesn’t know her. he’s interpreting these feelings of adoration, nostalgia, and a desire to reconnect, as what’s entailed for a romantic crush. he likes a girl, she’s pretty and popular, so this must mean he likes her.

tsubomi is the shape of a person. she’s an ideal to adore, a fantasy to think towards, but she’s not a part of a real grounded relationship, nor is he ever setting her up to be.

don’t get me wrong here! he definitely likes her well enough, and maybe thinks she’s beautiful, in an aesthetic sense, but he doesn’t really ever involve himself in those feelings. they’re very analytical, they’re treated not as reasons he loves her, but just as…things. when mezato asked him “what exactly do you like about her”, he seemed genuinely shocked, like he’d never really thought about it. he stood there and tried to think about something that he loved about specifically her, some reason or some sign that he was in love, and there was nothing. all he could say was that she respected him.

so anyways. what i’m getting to with this, is that i honestly don’t think mob planned any further ahead than just…”confess”.

she’s the ideal crush, this far away idea of the girl he should like, and she doesn’t exist outside of that. since there isn’t anything deeper, if she accepted him…??? GOD.

i actually don’t think he’d know where to go from there. he didn’t plan that far ahead, even though she was the goal, this carrot on a stick the whole time.

there’d be so many weird attempts at dates and outings, they’d do “couple things” but neither really knows the other enough to know what they like, or how to talk to each other, especially with the sudden change in relationship.

mob never thought to bring her flowers or a gift until teru told him that was a thing couples usually do. so following that, he’d probably mainly instigate things in that same sort of “well, this is what couples do” sort of way. adhering to the societal expectations of how you should act when you get the girl. their relationship would be empty and forced, dragging each other along… and i just think it’s interesting because. that would be the standard ending right? boy gets a crush, works really hard on himself, musters up the courage to confess, then they get together and it’s great and everyone’s happy forever!!!

but one of the main messages of the whole show is literally “we’re all living our own lives, and we have to be ourselves despite it all.”, and having the classic guy meets girl ending specifically and loudly not click with who mob is as a person is a Very Interesting Choice. dating tsubomi, while also obviously not what she would ever choose, would also crash and burn for mob. him ending up with her would mean not being himself, and that’s basically textual. mob’s happy ending is literally accepting his emotions and walking away smiling at rejection. if that’s not so incredibly aroace of him i don’t know what is. 🎉

[scariusaquarius]

It's criminal I've never said it but I re-read those epileptic Reader/Leon headcanons you wrote regularly LMFAO they're a big comfort to me and I love how you characterize Leon <33 You're THE re4og Leon writer dare I say.

If headcanons are still open atm I was wondering if you're down to write some similar headcanons for Dean Winchester with an epileptic Reader? Tysm! (If you still write for him obviously, if not totally feel free to ignore this!)

Babe, i am ALWAYS writing for my boy, Dean Winchester heheh. I've just been a tad bit busy with writing my supernatural/transformers fic and irl that I haven't really been able to write much else!

Dean Winchester with an Epileptic Reader would include...

Let's remember that there are many different types of epilepsy and symptoms will display themselves differently. However, I will write about the general and most common type of epilepsy only this time. Let's get started<3

Tonic Clonic/Grand-mal seizures

Some people with epilepsy have been shown to have 'aura's before their seizures, which can be described as a feeling of euphoria or doom, deja vu, a loss of a sense (such as hearing or sight), or a gain of a sense (i.e. smelling food when there is none, hearing a ringing sound, etc).

Dean Winchester is somewhat of an aura for you: meaning, he knows when you're about to have a seizure before you do. I think it's been displayed throughout the series pretty well that Dean has a pretty wild sixth sense, and though we know Dean isn't psychic in any way, I think that he would learn your tells and pay attention to the signs of your seizures and warn you before you even realize what's happening.

Dean can be a bit of a worry-wart, but he's been a hunter for so long that he can react easily while under the pressure and adrenaline. So, if you have a seizure while Dean is around, you can be assured that he can take care of you.

He knows what to do when someone is having a seizure thanks to his years of medical knowledge due to his line of work, Sam, and research. So, rest-assured that Dean has your back when you don't.

Unless you are medicated and don't have as many seizures as you would while unmedicated, Dean is very reluctant to take you on hunts that are, in his terms, 'too dangerous'. Dean would probably only be comfortable with you being on simple hunts, like Salt 'N' Burns.

This doesn't mean that Dean thinks that you are weak, but he is trying to keep you safe in a way that he knows best, which means making you stay behind or only allowing you on simple, short hunts. The only time that Dean will call you onto a dangerous hunt is if he absolutely has no other option and needs backup.

Dean is very good at making sure that you take your medication and keeping track of how many you've taken for the day. He has an internal logbook in his head of when you've taken your meds and at what time.

If your seizures are extremely sudden, then I don't think Dean would be comfortable with you going on hunts at all. As much as it sucks, you are a liability and Dean doesn't want to take any risks.

When in the height of a seizure, Dean is very calm and will rub your arms, gently hold you close in a way that doesn't get in the way of the life-saving technique for seizures, and either talk or sing to you.

The first time that Dean encountered a seizure, he honestly thought you were being possessed :"") (that is, if you didn't tell him about your epilepsy at first). Sam was the one that knew what was happening and helped you through it while Dean worried his ass off beside you. (listen, i love him, but he can be a bit of an idiot sometimes.)

Dean isn't the greatest at time management unless it comes to hunts, but whenever he finds out about your epilepsy, he makes sure to write down when your doctors/neurology appointments are.

Dean will treat your epilepsy like it's a hunt in terms of research. He will spend hours researching about your diagnosis and how he can help you during a seizure.

do not expect him to not make seizure jokes because he will. He will stop if you say something to him about it, but he'll make a joke here and there. When you have to have an eeg though? He's cracking all of the terminator jokes.

I hope you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for the request, and I hope it was up to par with you

[bra1nw0rmz]

Hello!! A question for you, not in a offensive light at all but I wanna ask why you like pavlevi so much and how come it doesn't make you uncomfortable with the age gap? We don't know pavs age which is fair enough but.. You get my point! I still love em tho. Maybe I'm a bit conflicted

I’m so sorry but you made a fatal mistake of giving me an opportunity to yap about them ( but thank you for being very nice abt the question, it means a lot :3 )

Slight rant under more… tried my hardest to keep it short but I have so much to say abt these fuckass losers 😔

For the reasons why I like Pavlevi so much. It’s because they are my two favourite characters, I need to psychoanalyse them and make them trauma bond or I’ll DIE.

Levi has the solitary soul, he’s been alone for most of his life. What he seriously needs is connection. And I think most of the cast just can’t fundamentally understand him. (I’m not sure if I’m being biased and self projecting here because of my experiences being autistic but yeah 😭) And I genuinely think most of that cast would look at Levi with pity. Almost as if he can’t think for himself. And I think Levi hates it. It’s really a hard feeling to pin down, but it feels weirdly dehumanising?? Like say Karin or smth would mean well but it still feels like you’re being hang up to dry? And I think Levi fucking hates it when everyone is looking at him like that. And the pity ppl have for him comes from a place of being so disconnected from him. Most of them can’t really understand him or what he’s gone through I suppose?? It’s not their faults, it’s just how it is. Society has literally thrown him to wolves. His government striped him of his autonomy, has used him for it’s benefit and now it’s people look at him like this couldn’t have been avoided, that it’s something so sad, to be pitied. Which is also why I love pavlevi bc Pav is the only person that Levi can truely connect with. Someone else who’s gone through the same bullshit, torn apart by the same world. They are both cut from the same stone, just at different stages and coping in different ways which I think is interesting. And it’s so sad because why the hell does it have to be some Bremen fuck that actually treats him like a person and not just something to pity.

As for Pav’s side of the coin. I just really like to torture him. Due to what he’s gone through and seen, being in the army around the same age as Levi, if not younger. I feel like he’d see Levi as being fit to make his own damn decisions. It’s none of Pav’s business, Levi can do whatever and he honestly does not give a shit. But as they get closer I feel like I think Levi brings out all the guilt and shame Pav bottled up and pushed far down in his psyche. Like… he’s had to kill so many just like Levi, all to even get a chance at killing Kaiser. All of it being a glorified elaborate destructive suicide mission. And he’s very fucked up about it. Dread sets in for Pav because??? He’s a terrible person??? He’s had to wear this mask for so long, he doesn’t even know who he really is. Levi is just troubled and has been put in one unfair situation after another. Pav couldn’t move forward and purposely put himself in those situations and did those fucked up things. I also think it’s interesting to think of them as like an intimacy of convenience. Bc they both know they have no future and might die at any second, but it’s better to hold someone’s hand than be alone when you die.

Other tidbits!!

They are fucking funny, like c’mon getting bossed around by the enemy, and a LIEUTENANT on top of that, is fucking hilarious

I feel like you got this from the rant b4 but the Angst potential is crazyyyyy

Pav teasing Levi and making him all flustered, HELLOO??? I love blushy levi

Pav traversing caring for someone else that isn’t himself bc he’s fundamentally a self serving person gggghhh

IFUCKING LOVE DOOMED RELATIONSHIPS RAHHHHHHHHHHH

The way their heavily different personalities clash would be fun

Having someone there who's gone through what you've suffered through is so comforting. you're not alone anymore….. IM SICK IN THE HEAD

I think Levi should be allowed to kiss boys as a treat

I also think he should be allowed to shoot Pav in the head as a treat

As for the age gap.. I don’t like it at all ofc. 😭😭 It’s definitely not ideal. And I can 100% understand how that can be a deal breaker….. but I also feel like people baby Levi too much? He has 1 breakdown because he just got back from war, is going through heroin withdrawals, everyone in his home town has been turned into violent monsters, he’s hearing voices and someone just tried to kill him and he gets labeled a wimp. You put a guy in the worst situation ever and he cries ONCE and ppl call him a crybaby and infantilise him 💀 He’s stronger than people give him credit for… but that’s more of a problem with fandom than anything.

Also like… I tried….. I really tried to not like pavlevi….. But I’m way too fucking autistic abt them. It’s so bad that when I see them I get an adrenaline rush and do laps around my kitchen. I’m so serious. These guys are like pseudo drugs to me, I need to chop my head off.

And ofc I wouldn’t support 18 and 30 smth irl, that’s fucking gross……… And I would say the same for a stalker and her victim.. because look, I love S4marina, but it’s basically in the same boat as Pavlevi to me..

This being a fandom that should primarily be adults, I feel like ppl should understand that. Yk, having better common sense and media literacy to understand this stuff ain’t okay irl. I still realise it’s not everyone’s thing and I’m not trying to convince ppl to like it, just explain why I like it (NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THEM LIKE I DO, I NEED TO DIE)…. Anyway uuhm I understand it makes some ppl uncomfy, which is valid! Just don’t go into spaces where you’ll be exposed to it ig??? If you seriously don’t like it, the block button/blocking tags is right there. I do that too !!

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic Cyber Revolution, Entry 79: Alien Family

''Please tell me about you, your beautiful face and voice. Every time I learn more, softly and vividly, my heart breaks. What is self-consciousness? Is it something embarrassing? Yes, in this world, everyone hides it, but is that really so? Aren't we showing our true selves? Do I have to discard it before I die? I messed up so many times, but this time, I'll finish a journey I can't return from, from now on! Beyond the six realms of reincarnation, if it's a path where we can laugh, then I'd rather drown with you alone in a beautiful world. Like a flickering mirage, does it seem like a world of human suffering? Who will I cross with to understand, in this world? Fluttering and dancing, petals are blown by the wind! Fluttering and falling, tears gently drop!''

– Shura Nikki by Isekai Shikkaku (No Longer Allowed In Another World)

xXxXxXx

''Eclipse?!''

Touka and Shadow were baffled to see the little alien, with Touka walking up to him and dragging his limp body out of the water, muttering in disbelief, ''How did he even survive?''

''I don't know. Even if Black Doom had just warped him to Cosmo River, I had used the hive mind to find and Chaos Control all of the Black Arms that were still in Neos City to the Black Comet,'' Shadow said. ''I don't understand how I had missed Eclipse.''

''Maybe Black Doom blocked Eclipse from the hive mind, which is why you couldn't detect them?'' Touka suggested. Shadow shrugged, only to lower his head, glaring at Eclipse, his hand crackling with dark energy. He may have missed Eclipse during the initial Chaos Control, but now he had the opportunity to correct that mistake. ''Shadow, please don't.''

''You have asked me to spare Eclipse's life before. Why?'' Shadow asked, his eyes narrowing. ''He had hurt you and he remained loyal to Black Doom even when it was obvious that he would be treated as a sacrificial pawn. He should've died alongside the other Black Arms.''

''I know, but- ouch!'' Touka winced when she felt a sting on her cheek when Shadow touched the cut left by Eclipse. ''I need to get that treated,'' she muttered, turning back to Shadow. ''I know that Eclipse is dangerous, but in his current state, it wouldn't be worth it.''

''I assume that you two had some kind of conversation, because you wouldn't want to keep him alive for no reason,'' Shadow pointed out, arms folded across his chest. ''I have recognized that look you were giving to Eclipse. It's the same one you'd give me whenever I was hurt or in distress.''

''Well, I…'' Touka fell silent, unsure how to explain herself. Instead, she picked Eclipse up. ''I guess we should tell the rest of our team that Eclipse is still alive.''

Shadow was still irked that she left Eclipse alive, but he decided to leave it be. After all, Eclipse was weakened and possibly injured, meaning that he wasn't a threat. Despite his disapproval, he did trust Touka, hoping that she knew what she was doing. Both went back to the group, who were all happy and relieved to see them, only for their expressions to fall when they saw Touka carrying Eclipse.

''Black Arms presence detected!'' Omega announced, immediately turning his arms into machine guns and pointing them Eclipse.

''Hey, Omega, wait! Eclipse is not a threat!'' Touka panicked for a moment, only for a sense of relief to wash over her when he lowered his weapons.

''How is that possible? I thought Black Doom killed him,'' Rouge said, just as baffled as everyone else. However, their bewilderment was more because of the fact that a member of the Black Arms survived, not because of who had survived.

''Wait, did you just call him Eclipse?'' Minami asked, stepping closer. Touka nodded, while Shadow exchanged glances with Rouge, Omega, Sonic and Lucas, realizing that no one here even knew about Eclipse, since the little alien only seemed to have targeted Shadow. However, it seemed that Minami had recognized him. ''Honestly, I almost forgot that he existed.''

''What are you talking about?'' Vector asked her.

''I'm talking about the Sonic video game lore,'' Minami explained. ''Eclipse the Darkling is actually a character that appeared in the short promotional manga for the Shadow the Hedgehog video game, the one that introduced the Black Arms. If I remember correctly, he acted as Black Doom's second-in-command, appearing only in two chapters out of the total five. He is a quite obscure character, so I'm not surprised I haven't recognized him at first.''

''Honestly, I don't think any of us ever heard about Eclipse until you had mentioned him,'' Warren commented.

''If someone has insanely detailed knowledge about the Sonic video game lore, it would be Minami,'' Amy said in a praising tone, with Minami just smiling proudly.

''So, what should we do with him?'' Silver asked.

''I suggest we follow Omega's example,'' Knuckles said, punching his fists, only to be met with a glare from Touka, which left him confused. ''Or… not?''

''Touka, you know that Eclipse almost killed you,'' Lucas spoke up, having quietly observed his teammate. He saw how Touka acted at the Black Comet, suspecting she knew more than she let on.

''I know that, but…'' Touka lowered her head, unsure how to express herself. She then gave Lucas a determined look. ''I want to talk to Eclipse. As I said before, he is not a threat, especially not in this state, and I want to see his response to this whole situation.''

''I'm not sure if that's a good idea, to just keep him around…'' Lucas said.

''If you guys insist on bringing up the fact that he almost killed me by absorbing my BioEnergy, then I think it would be only right if I take responsibility for Eclipse,'' Touka suddenly said in a firm tone, surprising Lucas.

''Hey, Shads, what do you think?'' Sonic asked, turning to the dark hedgehog. ''That would mean that Eclipse would be staying with you.''

''I don't approve of Touka's idea, but I also know that I can't stop her. I suppose the best option now would be to keep a close eye on Eclipse. If he decides to cause trouble, I will stop him,'' Shadow answered.

''Heh, that sounds reasonable,'' Sonic replied with a small grin, only for his eyes to widen as he heard his stomach growl, his fawn muzzle turning red in embarrassment. He laughed, rubbing the back of his head. ''I guess that's a sign to get something to eat, kick back and relax.''

xXx

While Shadow kept in mind Sonic's words to relax, he couldn't. Instead, he was sitting on the other end of the couch at the Kageura residence, legs crossed as he stared at Eclipse, who was still unconscious. Touka, who was leaning over the couch from behind, had bandaged him up after spotting some cuts on his skin. She herself put a plaster across the cut on her cheek, insisting that she was fine otherwise.

Both of them were silent, with the only sound that could be heard being the sudden downpour outside, with the three managing to get home just in time before they got caught by the rain. They had also made sure to message Kisaki about being safe, with the response being that she would stay at the hospital overnight due to what had happened and that she was relieved that they were okay. However, they neglected to tell Kisaki that they had a guest, deciding to tell her once they figured out what to do with Eclipse.

''You know, Shads, Eclipse didn't hurt me because Black Doom ordered him to do so. Instead, he lashed out because he hated me because you care about me as your sibling,'' Touka said, tracing with her finger across the plaster on her cheek. ''I know it sounds weird, but that's why I can forgive him for hurting me.''

''Maybe you can, but I can't,'' Shadow told her in a stern tone. Touka couldn't help, but smile a little at the response.

''Of course not,'' she said, her gaze turning back to Eclipse. ''I wonder how he'll react to the news about Black Doom's defeat.''

''I assume that he would be devastated and furious,'' Shadow said. ''After all, he remained loyal to Black Doom until the bitter end.''

''That's the expected response, but I'm also certain that he might have some mixed feelings over the fact that Black Doom abandoned him, hoping that he would die during his attempt to stop you. That's a lot to process,'' Touka pointed out.

''It would be easier to process if you just stopped pitying me.''

Touka and Shadow were startled by the sudden grumble coming from below the blanket, noting a pair of golden eyes staring back at them.

''Have you been awake this whole time?'' Shadow asked Eclipse as he tried to sit up.

''I've been awake since you got me out of that river,'' Eclipse said bitterly, reaching for the bandages on his head in an attempt to remove them. ''I have witnessed Black Doom's defeat and the destruction of the Black Comet, only to fall into that river. Instead of saving me, you should've finished me off.''

''If you have a death wish, I can fulfill it now,'' Shadow told him in a cold tone, glaring at his supposed ''brother''. ''If you heard everything, then you know why I didn't do it earlier. The only reason you're still alive is because Touka showed you mercy on multiple occassions. If it were for me, you would've joined Black Doom the moment we found you.''

The look Eclipse gave to Shadow was filled with pure hate, silently glaring at the dark hedgehog, only to turn into a look of intense rage when he turned his attention to Touka.

''Why did you spare me?!'' he growled as he stood up, despite the sense of weakness he felt in his legs. ''I told you I don't want any of your pity! I would've been better off dead than defeated but alive!''

''Eclipse…'' Touka was silent, clearly still reluctant to express herself. Eclipse gritted his teeth, growling as he glared at Touka for the lack of response. He then leapt down from the couch, running towards the door. ''E-Eclipse, wait!''

Touka and Shadow ran after him, spotting Eclipse using Chaos Snap after he couldn't figure out how to work the door knob. The two opened the door, seeing Eclipse running down the street in the rain. Touka grabbed her hoverboard, dashing towards the little alien. ''Eclipse, wait!''

Eclipse didn't respond, simply keeping on running down the street. He didn't care where he was going, he just wanted to get away from Touka and Shadow as far away as possible. He knew that he was on his own now, the only survivor of the Black Arms. Even if Black Doom abandoned him because he was useless, he still refused to give up. He still had his pride as a Black Arms soldier and he wasn't going to throw it away now. Instead he would avenge his kind and…

''Eclipse, watch out!''

Eclipse froze when he saw a speeding car coming towards him as he attempted to cross the street, its headlights blinding him and its siren piercing his head like a drill. He simply couldn't move, his legs refusing to listen to him. It was as if everything slowed down, with Eclipse's senses completely failing him. He couldn't run away. He couldn't do anything to save his life.

He was completely useless.

''Eclipse!''

''Touka!'' Shadow screamed in horror as he saw Touka throwing herself at Eclipse just as the car passed. His heart almost stopped, his crimson eyes wide as for a moment he thought that the car had hit them. But then, he saw them lying on the ground on the other side, both of them still alive, with Touka's hoverboard lying next to them.

Touka herself was breathing heavily, dirty and wet due to the rain and mud, but seemingly unharmed, having used the accelerator to grab Eclipse and pull him to safety, with both falling onto the ground. She could feel her heart racing, but otherwise, nothing was broken. Instead, she turned to the little alien, whom she was still holding in her arms. Eclipse, in turn, looked up in disbelief, unable to comprehend that he was saved again. Suddenly, Touka grabbed him by his shoulders, anger showing in her eyes.

''Are you crazy?! Don't ever run into a street like that! You could've been ran over by that car!'' Touka yelled at Eclipse, who was taken aback by her sudden outburst of anger. He was shaking, his eyes wide as a different emotion had formed. Fear. Touka's gaze softened, realizing that she was the cause of it, and despite his earlier contempt, Eclipse was now afraid of her, even closing his eyes as if he expected some kind of punishment. Instead, he was startled when Touka suddenly pushed his head into her chest, hugging him tightly, her voice now a soft whisper. ''I'm sorry, I was just worried. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that.''

Why? Why are you like that? Eclipse wanted to say, but he couldn't voice any word. He was exhausted, not knowing anymore what to do or what to think. He was done with life itself.

''Touka, are you okay?'' Shadow joined the two, with Touka giving him a relieved smiled.

''Yeah, I am-'' she said, only for Shadow to interrupt her.

''That's great- because doing that was the most idiotic thing I've seen you do so far!'' Shadow suddenly yelled at Touka, causing her to flinch when she realized he was furious. ''You could've gotten yourself killed by your stunt!''

''I-I'm sure I've done things worse than that…'' Touka replied, giving him a nervous smile. Shadow just sighed, pressing his hand against his forehead.

''I should've expected something like this to happen…'' he muttered, putting his hand on Touka's shoulder. ''We're going home now to treat your injuries.'' Touka lowered her gaze, having not realized that her skin on her legs and elbows was scraped and that she was bleeding due to how she fell when she saved Eclipse. Shadow then shot Eclipse a glare. ''All of us. No more running away. Have you understood me?''

Eclipse narrowed his eyes, not answering, but also not fighting back. Shadow took this as his answer, using Chaos Snap to warp them all back to the Kageura residence.

''You two are so reckless. No wonder I have to be the responsible one,'' Shadow grumbled as he shook out the water droplets from his quills. He walked towards one fo the cupboards in the kitchen, which was holding a spare first aid kit. ''Touka, you should clean yourself up. I'll take care of Eclipse.''

''Okay,'' Touka said, noting how she was drenched from the rain. Not to mention, now that the adrenaline wore off, she quickly feel the stinging pain from her injuries. She went upstairs, while Shadow turned to Eclipse.

''I'll have to change your bandages,'' he said.

''I don't remember asking for your help,'' Eclipse replied, glaring at Shadow.

''Then, what was that about calling me your brother?'' Shadow responded in a snarky tone, his answer irritating Eclipse.

''You killed all of the Black Arms! I don't have any reason to call you my brother anymore!'' Eclipse yelled at him. However, that response didn't seem to bother Shadow.

''You know, if Black Doom hadn't kicked you out when he did, you would've been dead as well. It is quite ironic that the person he deemed useless is the one who survived the whole ordeal,'' Shadow said. The little alien lowered his gaze, his eyes narrowing. ''I also need to clear up something. That look Touka always gives you? The one you said that you hate? It's not pity.''

''What?'' Eclipse gave him a look of confusion.

''That look means that Touka genuinely cares about you. It's the same I had experienced while being with her. I would always see it whenever I was hurt or in distress. I think the reason she won't admit it is because she is worried about your reaction to the truth – or rather, she knows what your reaction will be and fears it,'' Shadow said, turning his back to a shocked Eclipse. ''It seems that she is the only person in existence willing to put her own life on line for you. Not even Black Doom would go that far. Perhaps, you should reflect on that.'' Shadow turned his head back, his eye flicking towards Eclipse as he furrowed a brow. ''If you decide to cause trouble for her, I will make sure that you will regret ever existing.''

Eclipse lowered his head, his tail curling around him as he watched Shadow walk into the living room. He was shaking, the coldness of Shadow's words seeping into his skin. Even though he hated Touka with all of his being, he knew that Shadow was right. Time and time again, she showed concern for his own wellbeing, even when he tried to end her life. No one else ever went so far for him as she did. But, still, he couldn't understand why. Why was she acting like that?

Eclipse remained sitting in the hallway, even when Touka returned from upstairs, now in just plain black shorts and a red T-shirt, a towel around her neck and her hair damp. She sat on the couch, her scraped skin now looking red and raw, wincing when when Shadow started the treatment, wiping the skin with a disinfectant.

''I don't think it looks that bad,'' Touka started, her tone casual, only to immediately shut up when Shadow shot her a glare. Clearly, he was still angry at her for being so reckless. Touka remained silent, looking instead at the hallway and noting how Eclipse was still sitting there, silent as a statue. She sighed, turning her attention back to Shadow, a dejected smile on her lips. ''You know, I don't mind Eclipse lashing out like this.''

Shadow didn't react, but Eclipse did, raising his head and looking into Touka's direction.

''I understand how furious and hurt he is, especially given how all of his kind had been eradicated. Sure, the Black Arms invaded Neos City to enslave all of humanity, but they were still his family, and that's something he'd hardly get over. Hell, it would be cruel to expect him to feel anything but hatred towards me considering how the only surviving family member cares more about me than him,'' Touka continued, only to grimace, squeezing one eye shut when she felt a sensation of needles prickling her skin. ''Not to mention, to be acknowledged by the person you considered your parental figure, only to get abused and abandoned by them… I guess Eclipse and I aren't that different in that matter.''

''What are you talking about?!''

Touka couldn't help but smile when she finally heard Eclipse responding to her speech. Shadow, on the other hand, sighed, as he knew that meant listening to more arguments, and he was slowly getting a headache from all of this nonsense.

''You and I are nothing alike!'' Eclipse stormed into the living room, glaring at Touka as he pointed his finger accusingly. Touka, on the other hand, gave him a confused look.

''Eh, what do you mean?'' she asked innocently, her reaction leaving the little alien puzzled. ''Since you claimed that Shadow's your brother, and Shadow is my brother, wouldn't that make me your older sister by default?''

Eclipse dropped his jaw, remaining completely flabbergasted by this logic. Shadow just groaned, wrapping the bandage a bit too roughly and causing Touka to wince due to the jolt of pain, with her understanding that he was voicing his disagreement on the matter.

''That's not true at all! Shadow and I share the same blood, but I have nothing to do with you!'' Eclipse protested.

''Something I had learned is that family doesn't mean being related by blood. Because the people who were related to me wanted nothing more but to harm me. But the family I had chosen were the ones who loved and cared about me,'' Touka responded, a sly smile forming on her lips.

''That doesn't mean anything! You can't just pick and choose who'll be your family!'' Eclipse responded, clearly worked up over the whole argument.

''Oh, really? Because I just did,'' Touka replied, sticking the tip of her tongue out in a playful manner.

''I refuse to accept that! Shadow, you-'' Eclipse turned to the dark hedgehog, only for the words to die in his throat as he and Touka saw the irritated look he was giving both of them. Having finished treating Touka's injuries, he slammed the lid of the first aid kit down, glaring at both of them.

''Would you two stop involving me into this argument?! I don't want to have anything to do with this!'' he growled, with both Touka and Eclipse cowering. ''If you want to argue, do it without me!''

He then walked away, practically stomping as he went upstairs to get some peace and quiet, and a shower.

''I… I think we went a bit overboard with that…'' Touka muttered anxiously. Eclipse couldn't help but agree, even nodding in response. ''Don't worry, he'll calm down eventually. This was just a really stressful day for everyone.''

''I blame you for that,'' Eclipse told her in a deadpan tone, arms folded across his chest and tail flicking.

''I know,'' Touka said, not bothered by his words, and opening up the first aid kit. ''Anyways, I still need to change your bandages, since Shadow didn't do it, and I can't let you wear dirty ones.''

Eclipse glared at her for a moment, then relented, sitting on the couch and allowing Touka to change the bandages. Despite his reservations, he knew that he didn't have much of a choice if he actually wanted to heal properly, and Touka seemed to know how to patch him up. It also helped that she remained silent instead of pestering him with unnecessary questions, but even then, Eclipse disliked the silence. His head had always been filled with many voices, thanks to the hive mind, but now there was nothing. The silence was eerie.

''I can't hear them anymore,'' Eclipse muttered, just to break that silence. ''They really are gone…''

''It couldn't be helped. Shadow and the rest were trying to save me and the city,'' Touka said in a quiet tone, wrapping the bandages around Eclipse's hand. ''You know, I wouldn't mind you staying here, if you're fine with that.''

''Shadow hates me,'' Eclipse pointed out, his eyes narrowing.

''He hates you because you hate me. Otherwise, he couldn't care less.''

''That's fair.'' Eclipse looked at his bandaged hand, while Touka focused on removing the bandages around his head. ''Your friends hate me too.''

''I think they hate you less than Shadow does.''

Eclipse snorted, despite finding no amusement in the answer. ''I don't know anymore if I want to make Shadow like me.''

''You were given another chance. You can try.''

''Why are you so annoying?''

Touka snorted at this question. ''I told Shadow once that, as his older sibling, I'm responsible for him. Since the same goes for you, it makes sense that I'll be a bit annoying.''

''I have never agreed to you being my sibling,'' Eclipse replied, folding his hands across his chest in protest.

''You do want to belong to somewhere, right?'' Touka asked, with Eclipse falling silent.

''You're creepy, you know that?'' Eclipse grumbled, much to Touka's surprise. ''Even though you're not part of the hive mind, you always know what I'm thinking. That's creepy.''

Touka giggled. ''I think that's because I had so much practice with Shadow. Since he's not exactly an expressive person, I just had to learn how to read his mood. You, on the other hand, wear your emotions on your sleeve.''

''What?'' Eclipse gave her a confused look.

''I meant that you're more open with showing your emotions. That's why I don't need a hive mind to understand how you feel,'' Touka explained, finishing the treatment and putting the remaining bandages into the first aid kit, then turning the TV on. ''Here. At least now it won't be so quiet.''

Eclipse curled up on the couch, staring at Touka as she got up to put away the first aid kit, listening to the murmurs of the people on the TV. He wanted to hate her, he really wanted to, but whenever he tried to imagine harming her, his mind went blank. Was his resolve so weak just because she treated him with kindness and compassion? He didn't want to even think about it. He just wanted to curl up somewhere and forget what had happened.

He heard steps, only to see Shadow coming down, having calmed down from his earlier outburst. He observed the dark hedgehog, who now ignored him, and instead joined Touka in the kitchen. He could hear him and Touka talking about getting something to eat, with Shadow grabbing a bag of coffee beans and placing one in his mouth. It seemed that he was now much more at ease, even smiling when Touka commented on him just eating coffee beans instead of having a proper meal. They were so happy, while Eclipse felt miserable.

Why couldn't he have what they had? Why couldn't he have a family who genuinely cared about him? Why couldn't he have someone who loved him?

Eclipse choked back a sob, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He pushed his injured hand into his mouth, not wanting Touka nor Shadow to hear him, let alone see him like this, but he couldn't hold back the emotional anguish he felt. He cried, his sobs growing louder and louder, drawing Touka and Shadow's attention. Both were surprised to see him cry, with Touka dropping everything and walking over to Eclipse, who now stopped trying to keep quiet and finally broke down completely. He didn't care when Touka sat next to him and pulled him into an embrace. He didn't care what Shadow thought of him. He didn't care anymore about hating either of them. He just wanted for his misery to end.

Touka hugged him tightly, briefly raising her head to glance at Shadow, who was just staring at Eclipse in silence, his ears pinned back. He was completely stunned to see the little alien breaking down like this, being so openly vulnerable. He had always seen him as this pathetic creature who only cared about Black Doom and his orders, someone who was easy to hate and an obstacle standing between him and Touka. Even though Shadow still disliked him for what he had done, he understood Eclipse's pain. The idea of having your own family being torn away from you was all too familiar to him, to the point where he wanted to destroy everything in his path just to stop feeling this pain.

Shadow then noted Touka motioning to him to come closer, with Shadow understanding her intention. He was a little reluctant at first, but eventually relented, sitting next to Touka as she wrapped her free arm around him and pulled him into a tight hug. He closed his eyes, finally allowing himself to relax.

xXx

It was the middle of the night, or at least that's what Eclipse assumed it to be when he woke up with a start. He felt a little dizzy, squinting as he tried to figure out where he was. The environment was unfamiliar and certainly not his pod in the Black Comet. Instead, he was in a living room, the TV playing some late night show, and he saw the blanket pulled over him. Only when he looked up did he finally remember what had happened.

He was held by Touka, who was leaned against a pillow, still fast asleep, with her other arm being wrapped around Shadow, who was snuggled up to her. Eclipse recalled how he suddenly started crying and fell asleep due to exhaustion, feeling a little embarrassed by his show of vulnerability, but at the same time, he felt content, if not even relieved. Sure, the sense of bitterness was still there, but the hatred faded, or at least it wasn't as strong as before. He didn't understand why, but at this point, he didn't care. Touka nor Shadow were going to judge him for that and that was all that mattered. He yawned, his golden eyes almost glowing in the darkness, and he felt a sense of dryness in his throat.

I haven't eaten anything. Eclipse reminded himself, rubbing his eyes. Unfortunately, he had no clue where to get any food. Normally, the Black Arms would consume the flesh of their victims, but they could also live of a red fruit they'd grow inside the Black Comet. Eclipse wished he had brought along some of that fruit, realizing that he had no idea whether human food could sustain him. He knew where the food was, having observed Touka and Shadow at the kitchen when they talked about eating something, and he figured that he might find something.

He pushed himself away, carefully removing Touka's arm, making sure he wouldn't wake up either her nor Shadow. He got down on the floor, walking towards the kitchen, but just as he attempted to open the door, he suddenly sensed a presence behind him. He turned around, being met with a pair of crimson eyes.

''What are you up to now?'' Shadow asked, his voice not louder than a whisper.

''Nothing,'' Eclipse responded with the first thing that came to his mind, being startled by Shadow's appearance. Shadow frowned, clearly not buying it. Eclipse lowered his gaze. ''I'm hungry.''

Shadow's stern expression faded, and he sighed, opening the fridge. ''We have some leftover yakitori.''

Eclipse watched him as the dark hedgehog took out a plate with skewered chicken and vegetables, then placed it in the microwave on the counter. Both watched it as it warmed up the food, worried that the noise would wake Touka up. Fortunately, it didn't, with Shadow turning the microwave off before it could signal that it was done. He then gave one skewer to Eclipse, who gave it a questioning look. The smell of the chicken meat was pleasant, albeit mixed with something Eclipse disliked. Still, he was hungry enough to give it a try, biting into it, only to cough and sputter.

''That tastes awful,'' he hissed. Shadow snorted, holding up his own skewer.

''That's because you bit into the bell pepper, not the chicken,'' he said in amusement. Eclipse shot him a glare, removing the grilled vegetable and then biting into what he assumed to be the chicken. To his surprise, it actually tasted good. It was meat, so he had no issue with that, but it appeared to be glazed with some kind of sauce that made it taste very sweet. He then sat down on the kitchen floor, nibbling on the meat, with Shadow sitting next to him, placing the plate between them. At least there wasn't any sense of tension between them, which Eclipse was thankful for. Frankly, he never expected that Shadow would be actually able to talk to him without any show of contempt.

''I'm surprised you didn't leave,'' Shadow said. Eclipse frowned.

''Do you want me to leave?''

''Do you want to leave?''

Eclipse didn't like how easily Shadow turned this question against him. He didn't want to answer it, being grateful for Shadow not being able to read his mind. Even if he did use the hive mind to locate all the Black Arms, it was clear that he still had little experience with it.

''Would you be mad if I stayed?''

''That depends on how you're going to treat Touka.''

''I should've known that would be your response,'' Eclipse grumbled, taking a bite out of the yakitori.

''I won't change my mind. You can either work with those conditions, or leave,'' Shadow responded in a sharp tone. Eclipse paused.

''What if I agreed to those conditions?'' he asked.

''I'd be shocked if you did,'' Shadow said in a deadpan tone. Eclipse shot him a glare.

''I am capable of adapting,'' he said, cheeks puffing up in indignation.

''You don't strike me as that kind of person, considering how stubbornly you followed Black Doom's orders despite them causing you only more harm,'' Shadow pointed out.

''Black Doom is gone…'' Eclipse muttered.

''You mean, our Father is gone,'' Shadow interrupted, knowing well that provoking Eclipse like this might lead to dire consequences. He was immediately met with a look of anger and hurt, his so-called brother clearly wishing to punch him, but surprisingly, he was holding back from having another outburst. Instead, he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

''I understand what you two want to tell me. I know I was stupid for following Black Doom's orders to the point of endangering my own life, but I had no other choice,'' Eclipse said, giving Shadow a firm look. ''Even if I had turned against him, would you have trusted me?''

''No, I wouldn't have,'' Shadow said, lowering his gaze.

''That's what I thought,'' Eclipse muttered, staring down at his meal.

''Let me ask you this,'' Shadow suddenly rose his voice, drawing Eclipse's attention. ''If Black Doom returned, would you join him?''

Eclipse gave him a shocked look, only to frown. ''Black Doom won't return. He's gone.'' Despite his point, Shadow's gaze remained firm, waiting for Eclipse's answer. The little alien sighed, remaining silent for a moment. ''If Black Doom ever returns, he will either take control over me or kill me.''

''You fear Black Doom, don't you?'' Shadow asked. Eclipse averted his gaze, his answer clear. ''If you just want to survive, staying with Touka and me is your best choice. Touka obviously wants you to stay and I'm willing to tolerate your presence. Otherwise, you'll be on your own in an unfamiliar world.''

Eclipse perked up. ''Wait, did you say you're willing to tolerate me?''

''Don't push it,'' Shadow hissed.

''At least it's a step up from hating me. You're actually warming up to me,'' Eclipse teased him, while Shadow responded with a glare. ''I'll take what I can get.''

Shadow rolled his eyes, but Eclipse didn't care, instead focusing again on his meal, now looking a bit more lively. It seemed that the idea of Shadow accepting him cheered him up, along with the food he got. As for the dark hedgehog, he figured that this was better than dealing with an agitated Eclipse, especially now that he knew that his motives have slightly changed to just surviving in this new environment. Nevertheless, that didn't mean that he trusted Eclipse, knowing that his so-called brother won't stay out of trouble.

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[zenshigarakilover]

I wish more people talked about Yoichi’s feelings on AFO

it really would’ve been so easy for hori to write him so he’s always hated AFO for the way he treated him and smiled at his death

but it’s the exact opposite. Yoichi is such a kind hearted person and loved his brother till the last second. He also felt guilty he couldn’t change his brother till the last second. I always think about the guilt he has about AFO. He obviously felt the safest with Kudou and Bruce but I don’t think he could ever forget about AFO

sorry if this was kinda a rant I just wish people talked more about how Yoichi saw his brother

Oh I agree I feel like that's one of the most tragic aspects of Yoichi's character. He feels guilty for not ever being able to truly save his brother and feels like it's his fault AFO is the way he is. When we see him watching AFO getting beaten down in the final battle he doesn't look triumph he just looks exhausted as he's known this day has been coming for a long time.

Truthfully, Yoichi shouldn't feel guilty for not being able to save his brother because none of it was his fault. He grew up in the same horrific circumstances as his brother and tried the best he could but AFO was hellbent on getting what he wanted and there was nothing Yoichi could do to change his mind. AFO actually believed that it was Yoichi who should change his mind rather than him. I think the fact that AFO viewed Yoichi as being too weak to assert his will played a role in him not taking him seriously. Honestly I don't think AFO ever saw them as equals so of course he dismisses Yoichi's pleas to use his quirk for good.

Yoichi was forces to see the horrors his brother inflicted for years and blamed himself the whole time. How many people could've been saved if he had just managed to break through to AFO? Truly heartbreaking he feels this way :(

I am reminded of this mistranslation here, which many Japanese speakers have pointed out. AFO actually says something more along the lines of saying it's Yoichi's fault that all of this is happening to Tomura. Because if he just would've been his in the first place then Tomura wouldn't be going through all this hell right now.

The anime fixes it though

So AFO is very much aware that Yoichi feels guilt over what's happening and is using it against him as a way to jab at him for refusing to join him. All this pain and suffering would end if you would stop fighting. We know Yoichi isn't going to give in easily but I know hearing that has to have caused so much pain for him. Poor Tomura ended up becoming doomed from birth just because AFO wanted to have Yoichi back.

And I can't stop thinking about this. So much regret held in those words mixed with heavy resignation. He knows there's nothing anyone can do to save AFO so the only thing that's left to do is kill him.

Yoichi showed tremendous kindness by staying with his brother to the end and allowing the other vestiges to kill him along with AFO. He stayed in his hands as they all joined it so he ended up getting shattered with AFO's vestige as well :(

[aipilosse]

Why Pengolodh of all people is able to stoke such rage within me on his behalf is so bizarre. Like, he's a non-character, a name and some facts Tolkien came up with in his carousel of in-universe authors to keep the layers of narration he loved, but the way he is maligned in this fandom is tragic.

I've touched on before that treating the Silmarillion as if it were written and relayed by a single author is entirely incorrect so I won't go into that here, and honestly I'm sure I've said this all before BUT

The idea that Penny is for some reason *least* suited to write most of the events of the Silmarillion is PATENTLY ridiculous, and I would challenge anyone who says that to a duel, either intellectual or physical (even in my current weakened state... Tulkas is on my side I cannot fail). First of all, the one place where nobody else knows anything about what happened is GONDOLIN, so I think if anyone is going to be writing about most of the events of the Silm, they either need to be from Gondolin or need to live in Sirion with survivors.

OH WHAT'S THAT.... SIRION?!?

Yeah, Sirion! The place where not only are there survivors of Gondolin, but there are survivors of Doriath and Nargothrond AND any remnants of the Beorians, Hadorian, and Haladin. Like, I can think of no other place where the Mannish legends would be able to be recounted, and put on the same level, as the Elvish ones.

"But the Feanorians," you squall. "He's so *unfair* to them, and how could he know ANYTHING about them? That's why we know sooo little about the Feanorians and why they are soooo unjustly maligned."

Ok, first of all, ya basic. Second of all, HE HAS ACCESS TO FEANORIAN SOURCES TOO.

There is Celebrimbor, and all the other former followers of Curufin and Celegorm that could of course tell Penny what was up in Himlad and afterwards while he was in Gondolin. Also, there were probably Feanorians who lived after turning on Maedhros and Maglor during the sack of the Havens who could fill in what happened after The Luthien Incident. So, actually, Pengolodh had multiple sources to literally all of the essential events of the Silmarillion.

OH YEAH THE SACK OF THE HAVENS. Despite living through what is described as the worst atrocity of elf v elf, despite having people we KNOW were friends with him KILLED during that fight, despite having his home destroyed by fellow Noldor, he *really* gives Maglor and Maedhros every excuse. "they felt bad, they're so tired, love grew between them and their victims" etc etc. The Silm is sympathetic to the Feanorians and you can't convince me otherwise (you're not some crazy rebel because you like them!) (They are also Doomed by the narrative, but attributing that to an in-universe author requires getting into the territory of events that occurred not actually occurring and... what's the point if you're going to say that the things that the book is about didn't happen? why are you even here?)

I see people say that the bias is against the 3 Cs, Caranthir especially, which is an ABSURD statement to make in conjunction with the 'Pengolodh, sole conveyer of the Silm' theory. Like, Pengolodh most likely never met any of the 3 Cs or if he did he was very young -- why would he dislike them more than the brothers that massacred his friends? I think the theory here is that he's just such a huge Turgon fan and just absorbed Turgon's opinions on the 3 Cs, which is just conjecture on top of conjecture with no solid footing.

I think there is more credence to him being biased against Maeglin on account of the Fall of Gondolin. But, I ask you, is it really *bias* when the guy is partially responsible for the sack of the city you spent most of your life in and likely the deaths of most of your friends and relatives? And Maeglin too in the published Silm is not without his good qualities! If you hate someone, it can be very hard to admit they're handsome and smart, but Penny does not have that issue.

Anyway, justice for Pengolodh. You didn't write the whole thing, Penny, but what you did write was I'm sure fucking fantastic.

[lover-of-mine]

#anyone want to hear my season 7 buddie spec that has no basis besides the voices in my head? sdoaksoaksokasokasoak yes ! me i always like to read your metas and what you have in mind

thank you for the support oaksoaksoaks

okay, I'm gonna start this off by saying this whole thing hinges on whether or not the show is gonna keep mirroring Buck and Eddie's personal journeys and this is mostly about Buck, I have no idea what they're gonna do with Eddie lol. First of all, this set back when the finale aired about the similarities between Buck and Taylor and Buck and Natalia and that illustrates it beautifully, the whole she came back, they seem happy, are they really? and that's a point against Natalia lasting in my opinion. But the thing is, I think Bucktalia also mirrors Eddiana, and that's when things start to get interesting in my brand of insanity. You have Buck treating Natalia's hand, you have Eddie treating Ana's, Ana and Natalia being reduced to their jobs, the first date in broad daylight in a cafe of some sort, a second date at home being interrupted by the rest of their lives (if you push a bit and think about Kameron's pregnancy, both dates are interrupted by their children even if the baby isn't Buck's on the ways that matter), you have the picture-perfect ending at home after a near-death experience, so the parallels are there too. And that means one important parallel, Buck holding on for the wrong reasons the same way Eddie did, which could doom that relationship further, but also leave Buck spiraling. Because if we're comparing personal journeys, Buck is in a state that's a mix of season 4 Eddie trying to be happy through the trauma and outside looking in/fear-o-fobia Eddie. I think we can even directly parallel some stuff, like, I truly believe the cemetery is the way Buck would handle the outside looking in kitchen talk if that went the other way around.

But the thing is, Buck needs to deal with the shit that happened to him before getting together with Eddie so I'm choosing to look at these as fuel for my Buck Breakdown beliefs. Unlike Eddie, Buck actually died, so that changes the dynamic a little bit, there's also the way that Buck doesn't care about his own life enough to break over dying, but while Eddie's PTSD has many triggers, the thing that actually breaks him is the knowledge that he didn't save the people he thought he saved. So my grand theory here is something happening to Maddie, Bobby, or Christopher that makes Buck lose it. I don't really think they would do something to Chris, but using him would have a similar effect if it wasn't for the fact that it would also break Eddie. Eddie himself doesn't count in this situation unless is both Eddie and Chris, because Buck would be forced to keep it together if something happened to Eddie for Chris' sake. Or maybe if they like, killed off the Buckley parents and forced Buck to deal with that grief. But Maddie or Bobby, dangerous situation, close call, hospital stay, honestly, something that would leave them in enough danger to trigger Buck, low-key don't think you need much to trigger that man. But trigger, Buck losing it, Eddie talking Buck down (how would Eddie find out Buck is losing it? I don't know, plot convenience, I like the idea of divorced-era Buddie and Eddie storming the loft because he's tired of Buck's bullshit and finding him, or maybe someone from dispatch calls Eddie because there's been a call from Buck's address, I don't know, they can get creative there), Buck working towards working his own shit out. But we're in this weird season 4/season 5b mix, right? How do we end s4? Near-death experience that calls back to a previous trauma, big revelation, aborted love confession.

One thing I refuse to compromise on is the fact that Eddie had his oh! moment during the shooting (it's my truth I am not letting it go) so you can probably see where I'm going here, right? A Buck in a better mind space almost dying by chance, getting saved by Eddie, and realizing something. You see the vision? Current vision goes back and forth between equipment malfunctioning, Buck falling, and Eddie being the only one close enough to get to him, this usually goes around a cliff, a bridge, and Buck falling into water (I know the truck bombing is not technically equipment malfunction but equipment did try to kill him, and water is Buck's worst enemy lol), or Buck and Eddie stopping to help someone, and shit going to hell, this vision usually goes with Buck and Eddie seeing a car crash of some sort, again someone drove off a cliff or off a bridge, they go to help, Buck gets trapped in the car, Eddie needs to save him (trapped under a vehicle, water) or just straight up having them drive of a bridge. Because something really big about the shooting is the way that, one it happened by chance, two they weren't supposed to be there, three Buck didn't have anyone he trusted there so he did the saving alone, and four by having Eddie get shot, you're bringing up why he left the army. So with Buck, if they stick to this pattern, you need to drown him or trap him under something, or both. And you have the way the lightning parallels the well and the shooting, and the well triggered something for Eddie, you have the whole you need to keep fighting, find your own way out, the suffocation aspect for both of them when you realize Eddie is about to drown and Buck's lungs are not working, and also the way Buck is supposed to learn something during his coma that could lead to a conversation similar to the will reveal. This is when the vision gets cloudy. Because ideal world, the reveal is Buck's feelings and we don't have an aborted love confession, we have a plain old confession, but the aborted route is always a possibility with a see you in season 8 thing.

But yeah, Buck breakdown, Buck starting to deal with his shit, near-death experience, Eddie having to save him alone, tense conversation after. I'm also slightly obsessed with what could happen in a scene where Eddie is dragging Buck out of the water, cpr, mouth to mouth, "you're not doing this to me again", Buck coughing up water while sitting up, Eddie catching him, "I got you, I got you". The possibilities are ENDLESS. Just put Ryan's emotional power to work. All those fun things oskaoskaoskoaksas

Also, this mostly hinges on Buck doing something to change their relationship because considering Buck tripped into 4 relationships, he needs to start this one. I'm a firm Buck needs to do something first believer. Buck's endgame relationship needs to start with him making a move. Also, my whole Buck needs to choose thing is all about Shannon saying that Eddie keeps making all the choices, so Eddie needs to let go of control and Buck needs to go for what he wants.

[maspers]

Ranking the Miracucast by how they'd react to being chosen as the next holder of One For All

Marinette: She would scream and cry and do everything in her power to avoid becoming the next Symbol of Peace. She would then proceed to be one of the most beloved and powerful Heroes the world has ever seen. 9/10

Alya: Depends on when she gets the Quirk. Early Seasons Alya is all about fame and branding, and she'd be loved by the populace as a hero but make a decent amount of rookie mistakes. Late Seasons Alya would be way more competent as a One For All user, but she also knows how to keep things subtle. I can see her becoming an Underground Hero like Eraserhead. Either way, 7/10

Adrien: Yes. 10/10

Nino: He would be very confused as to why he's being chosen, but if his friends were in danger he'd do it. Would much prefer to focus on his music than hero work, and as such would be known for the former more than the latter. 3/10

Chloe: She would try so, so, so hard to be the ultimate superhero that everyone loves. Unfortunately we saw how that went down in canon. She has the potential to great things, but motives will always be a serious problem for her. 4/10

Sabrina: Getting One For All might be what it takes to get her out of her shell. She'd never reach the fame and reputation that All Might and Deku have, but she would treat her powers with utmost respect and very few people would have bad things to say about her as a hero. 7/10

Mylene: She would be very confused, and very scared, and honestly would probably reject the Quirk outright. If forced to take it she'd be great, but I just can't see her wanting to hold on to it. She prefers to change the world in other ways. 3/10

Ivan: Everyone would doubt him due to making assumptions, but he would surpass them all and come into his own as a beloved and respected hero, albeit one that's pretty intimidating. He wouldn't really focus on quirks other than the super strength, but hey, it worked for All Might! 8/10

Rose: Be afraid. Be very afraid. 6/10

Juleka: Guaranteed to be more of the Underground hero type. Possibly might go full vigilante. She would use the Quirks very differently than most would expect, so people won't make the connection to past One For All holders. She does not want to have a body count, but definitely has one. 6/10

Kim: Kim is a total doofus who would immediately gain a rep as a reckless hero who causes lots of collateral damage but makes up for it by just trying really hard. Deep down he will feel unworthy and self-conscious. Local Himbo has internal turmoil and Does Not Deserve It. 5/10

Max: Would reject the Quirk outright and only accept it in the most dire of circumstances. Max does not want a messy complicated Quirk like One For All. Max likes simple and efficient, stuff he can manipulate from the get go. One For All is not simple. Give it to someone else. 0/10

(side note: while Max does not want One For All, Markov absolutely does, and finding a way to give Markov One For All would make for an interesting challenge. But Max still isn't taking it.)

Alix: Would politely decline taking it. Because she's already received it (and passed it on after engaging in brief shenanigans with it) in the future, and knows it is not her battle to fight in the present. Alix/10

Nathaniel: Please let this poor boy have some sleep. He is very tired and very angry and accepted the Quirk on impulse and really doesn't want to do this. Eventually manages to figure out his niche being a artist/spraypaint hero (Alix helps), and may or may not accidentally trigger the downfall of a corrupt government. 7/10

Lila: She obtained it under false pretenses and we are all doomed. There's a slim chance she'll do some hero work for the sake of her image, but like. The cons will definitely outweigh the pros. This was a mistake. 1/10

Luka: Accepted One For All during a time of great need, and knew the moment he received it that it was something Important. He puts on a front of being chill, but treats his work as a Hero with the utmost of seriousness and will do what has to be done. Like his sister, he would actively strive to not have a body count, but definitely would have one. 9/10

Kagami: She's a superhero with a sword. Awesomeness is the default. She will have no idea what she is doing but like. She has a sword. Stuff is getting done. 7/10

Marc: Look, you know Worm? You know Legend? One For All Marc would be like Legend except less hunk and more bishonen. The fangirls and fanboys will rejoice. Marc does not want all the attention, but he has it anyway. 6/10

Ondine: Kim accepts his role as the ultimate trophy boyfriend. Ondine would be competent, but she would also create even more collateral damage. 5/10

Aurore (New!): If there's one thing she knows, it's branding. She may not be known as a particularly powerful hero, but her branding would be top notch. When people figure out she's the latest successor she will OWN it and turn it into more branding. 5/10

Felix: Was likely offered One For All by someone who thought he was Adrien, and accepted it under that pretense. Would do a good job as a hero (and would give Adrien the credit in the process) but would figure out how to use all the Quirks very quickly and have a gig as a vigilante going on under a different identity, using different quirks to keep people in the dark. Very sus, Felix. You can be better than this. 2/10

Zoe: Look the populace would pick up on the fact that she's blonde and associated with America and immediately assume she's related to All Might. That's just going to happen. All Might will basically have to end up adopting her, if he's still around. She does not like this, but makes it work. 6/10